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Dedicated to all the girls who know Prince Charming is nice but the villain really knows how to use all that pent-up rage between the sheets. Here’s to choosing a guy who can be both.
“Everyone wants to shine bright like a diamond, but no one wants to get cut.” —Eric Thomas
Falling for the bad boy the second time around would be a mistake of gargantuan proportions.
Too bad she’s always been clumsy.
“You’re not broken, Dot.” He stuck the cigarette in his mouth, patting my thigh offhandedly. “A little cut, sure. All diamonds are.”
“But why do you loathe me? What did I ever do to you? I gave you the greatest gift of all.”
“Pretty sure you moved away because of college, not as a gesture of good faith.” He popped an olive into his mouth.
“I’m talking about my virginity,...
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“That was a gift?” He squinted at a piece of Muenster cheese dangling on a toothpick with the utmost concentration. “...
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“Just say the word and I’ll destroy your pussy and your chance of ever coming with any other man.”
“They scheduled me for a C-section. They think the baby’s gonna come out the size of a Saint Bernard. Like, ten-pounds big. I’m the poster child for safe sex, Dot.”
“Chef’s kiss.”
You’re a shiny apple, and do you know what people do to shiny apples?” His nose glided down mine, and I could almost feel them. His pouty, perfect lips.
“What?” I croaked.
“You eat them.” We were chest to chest. Heartbeat to heartb...
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“Fuck, Dot.”
He gave my bikini string a rough tug, loosening its hold. The right triangle dislodged, falling slightly, exposing the plump mound of my breast and one pink nipple.
“You’re always pretty, but especially ...
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Love you more than a flower loves the sun,
oBITCHuary: Why are you single? Haven’t found the right girl yet?
McMonster: Oh, I found her.
oBITCHuary: Then what is t...
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McMonster: Only one o...
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oBITCHuary: Wow. I cannot imagine not falling for someone li...
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McMonster: That’s the worst p...
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McMonster: She isn’t silly at all. She is fuc...
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Once upon a time, I was in love with Calla Litvin. She had broken my heart in two. Whether she had done it knowingly or klutzily didn’t matter. I wasn’t letting her anywhere near that organ again.
My suspicion Cal was oBITCHuary had been confirmed the day she’d told me she was back in Staindrop. I’d put two and two together. And still, I didn’t fess up.
When Cal was around, I bled.
Cal stared at me speechlessly. “Bite me.”
“Thought you’d never ask. Just say where.”
Cal was back, and so was my fascination with her. I was officially, royally, and completely fucked.
McMonster: Because you’re the only person I’m selfless with too.
“Your broken is still the most whole thing I’ve seen.”
I groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Here’s hoping.”
She shook her head, throwing me a frustrated look. “I swear, your ego is the most giant thing I’ve seen.”
“That’s not true, and we both know it.”
Nice guys didn’t always finish last. But if this specific one wasn’t careful, he’d end up in my trunk.
“What if I fall again?” I choked out.
“You won’t,” he barked out impatiently.
“How do you...
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“Because I’ll always c...
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I’ll always catch you. When have I ever let you take the hit for something, Dot?
“Fine. Want the truth? Here’s the truth: No, I didn’t ‘have feelings’ for you.” He air-quoted the words with a sneer. “I was in love with you. Honest to fucking God, full-blown, snatch-my-heart-out-and-let-you-use-it-as-a-stress-ball in love with you.” He looked disgusted with himself for uttering each word. “And you didn’t give half a shit about me.”
“Y-you fell in love with me?”
“I didn’t fall.” He omitted a sharp, irritated huff. “You fucking tripped me.”
Squealing, screaming, giggling, smiling, all the fucking feels 😫😅😍
“You read me like an open book,” he sighed. “In German.”
McMonster: If I have a say about it? Mine.
Extraprettinery.”
