I Used to Like You Until...: (How Binary Thinking Divides Us)

by Kat Timpf

Considering complexities and leaving yourself open to nuance aren’t helpful only when looking at political issues. They’re also, and perhaps even more so, important when looking at people. How can we preach and post about how much Mental Health Matters while also taking part in a society where so many people do define others by their mistakes? A mistake or a struggle doesn’t equal a person. There should, of course, be accountability for wrongdoing, but there has to be some kind of path to redemption. Most of us are able to do this in our personal lives. What might be harder, though, is to see that the people we read about in headlines have personal lives, too. At this point, it’s gone far beyond parasocial relationships and into the realm of parasocial judges and juries, insisting that a person is irredeemable forever based on a single bad moment or characteristic, despite not knowing what that person is going through, or even knowing a thing about the person at all. Just as the public repudiation of a person can have far-reaching consequences, so can choosing to show grace. For one thing, observing more forgiveness and grace might make all of us more willing to examine ourselves, and perhaps even more likely to admit it when we’ve done something wrong. Instead of being reflexively defensive, people might spend more time listening. Think about it: If there’s no path to redemption anyway, what’s the motivation to seek it? People must know that path is there if we want to ha...