The Long Way Home (Chief Inspector Armand Gamache #10)

by Louise Penny

All his professional life Chief Inspector Gamache had asked questions and hunted answers. And not just answers, but facts. But, much more elusive and dangerous than facts, what he really looked for were feelings. Because they would lead him to the truth.

How often had he questioned a murderer expecting to find curdled emotions, a soul gone sour? And instead found goodness that had gone astray.

Turmoil shook loose all sorts of unpleasant truths. But it took peace to examine them.

We love life, thought Reine-Marie as she watched Ruth and Rosa sitting side by side, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving.

It was rare for any of them to lock their doors, though they knew from some experience that it would be a good idea. But the villagers also knew that what kept them safe in their beds wasn’t a lock. And what would wound them wasn’t an open door.

After spending most of her life scanning the horizon for slights and threats, genuine and imagined, she knew the real threat to her happiness came not from the dot in the distance, but from looking for it. Expecting it. Waiting for it. And in some cases, creating it.

“I called him into the office and told him that there were four statements that lead to wisdom. I said I was only going to recite them once, and he could do with them as he wished.” Armand Gamache lowered his fork to his plate and listened. “I don’t know. I was wrong. I’m sorry.” Lacoste recited them slowly, lifting a finger to count them off. “I need help,”

But the closest he’d come to consuming, corroding jealousy was seeing other kids with their parents. He’d hated them for that. And, God help him, he’d hated his parents. For not being there. For leaving him behind.

He now knew that happiness and kindness went together. There was not one without the other.

They’d all come here to begin again.

Was the final fear that, in losing his fears, he would also lose his joy?

What would a person do when the tried-and-true was no longer true?

Sometimes the only way up is down. Sometimes the only way forward is to back up.

“Any real act of creation is first an act of destruction. Picasso said it, and it’s true. We don’t build on the old, we tear it down. And start fresh.”

In Beauvoir’s experience, the only thing worse for an artist than not being celebrated was if someone they knew was. It could be enough to drive an already unbalanced artist over the edge. Drive them to drink. To drugs. To kill. Themselves. Or the other artist. Or, maybe, the muse.

Fear lives in the head. And courage lives in the heart. The job is to get from one to the other.”

Noli timere. Be not afraid.