The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard, #1)

by Scott Lynch

I’ve got kids that enjoy stealing. I’ve got kids that don’t think about stealing one way or another, and I’ve got kids that just tolerate stealing because they know they’ve got nothing else to do. But nobody—and I mean nobody—has ever been hungry for it like this boy. If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing. He … steals too much.”

It’s a pity you’re missing something. Common sense, perhaps.”

Common sense, a sense of self preservation, brain matter that isn't hardwired for theft and breathing?

though you lack the good sense the gods gave a carrot. You lie like a floor tapestry. You’re more crooked than an acrobat’s spine. I could really make something of you, if I decided I could trust you.”

LOCKE LAMORA’S RULE of thumb was this: a good confidence game took three months to plan, three weeks to rehearse, and three seconds to win or lose the victim’s trust forever. This time around, he planned to spend those three seconds getting strangled.

That's one way to use those three seconds.

Greed before imagination.

Quite the motto.

“So that makes us robbers of robbers,” said Bug, “who pretend to be robbers working for a robber of other robbers.” “Yes, we do sort of screw the pretty picture up, don’t we?”

Ain't that a mouthful!

He was in the air before another thought crossed his mind. Arms out, falling backward, staring up into the hot near-noon sky with the confident assurance of all twelve of his years that death and injury were things reserved solely for people that weren’t Bug.

Ah, youth.

He would reevaluate his own claims on immortality when all of this was over.

“Locke is like a brother to us, and our love for him has no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate it.’ ” “Rivaled only by ‘Locke taught me a new trick,’ ” added Galdo. “The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games—” “—is Locke Lamora—” “—because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons—” “—and fifty thousand cheering spectators.” The brothers cleared their throats in unison.

Locke-after-your-father Lamora, your reputation has only gotten worse.

Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks,

Well, that makes this easier for him.

Petulance, the natural nonverbal language of the very young.

It is one thing to kill in a duel, to kill in self-defense, to kill for vengeance. It is another thing entirely to kill simply because you are careless.

Gifted, my boy, gifted like you are with a preternatural talent for the vexation of others.”

“You’re one-third bad intentions, one-third pure avarice, and one-eighth sawdust. What’s left, I’ll credit, must be brains.”

“Chains used to claim that there’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated,”

The more in control the mark thinks they are, the more easily they respond to real control.

“When you don’t know everything you could know, it’s a fine time to shut your fucking noisemaker and be polite.”