The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard, #1)

by Scott Lynch

There are only three people in life you can never fool—pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother.

It is one thing to kill in a duel, to kill in self-defense, to kill for vengeance. It is another thing entirely to kill simply because you are careless.

If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.”

“Chains used to claim that there’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated,”

“If we were any freer we’d float away into the sky and fly like the birds.”

“NICE BIRD, asshole,”

“When you don’t know everything you could know, it’s a fine time to shut your fucking noisemaker and be polite.”

“And if you needed any further demonstration that he can do things you cannot, well, why don’t I instruct him to wallop the shit out of you one more time?”

“I’m going to cut their gods-damned tongues out.” “Oh, tsk.” She ruffled his hair. “Please don’t. Us girls have a use for those, at least.”

First the flames, and then the screams.

beak and screeched triumphantly. Locke winced at the noise.