The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard, #1)

by Scott Lynch

AN OLD Camorri proverb has it that the only constant in the soul of man is inconstancy;

If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing.

There are only three people in life you can never fool—pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother’s dead, I’ve taken her place. Hence, I’m bullshit-proof.”

“My attendant will be along any moment,” Locke/Fehrwight said as he/they stepped aboard the barge. “His name is Graumann, and he too suffers from a slight case of being imaginary.” “Merciful gods,” said Calo, “it must be catching.”

But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate it.’ ” “Rivaled only by ‘Locke taught me a new trick,’ ” added Galdo. “The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games—” “—is Locke Lamora—” “—because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons—” “—and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”

It is one thing to kill in a duel, to kill in self-defense, to kill for vengeance. It is another thing entirely to kill simply because you are careless.

“What sort of state are you in?” Calo whispered. “As though I’m with child, and the little bastard is trying to cut his way out with an axe.”