Obsession

by Harleigh Beck

“Don’t let yourself be charmed by him. He’s a serial killer who murdered fourteen women,”

Other mommies loved their kids. So why didn’t my mommy love me?

“He’s just a man,” I whisper. But I know he’s not. Robbie is the closest I’ve been to tasting the sweetness of death. I was so close to freedom I could feel its soothing caress wrap itself around my fragile heart.

“You’re only alive because I allow it. You hear me? You breathe because I allow it. Don’t for a second believe you’re worth something.”

“You’re a people pleaser, Savannah. You have tried to live up to other people’s expectations of you all your life. For reasons, unbeknownst to me, you never feel good enough.”

If you lived in the shadows long enough, you soon called them your home.

“Sweet young lady. You’ll get your heart broken.” “With all due respect, Mrs. Ashton. Robbie Hammond isn’t the biggest wolf I’ve met. My heart broke long ago. Maybe for once, I want to lose myself in a nightmare of my own making, no matter how crazy it seems.”

“Pain makes us feel alive. More so than pleasure at times.”

“My story belongs to you, Savannah. My confession is yours and yours alone.”

“Listen to me carefully, Savannah. You’re going to turn Elliot down, unless you want the sniffing dog to die a slow, painful death.”

“No one gets to touch you, Savannah. No one gets to so much as imagine you naked and needy.” “You can’t slaughter everyone who fantasizes about me.” “Watch me.”

“I am watching you, and do you know what I see? I see a man who talks a big game but can’t do shit. We’re minutes away from you being chained up and led back to your cell.”

“I’ll tell you what I would do. I would remove his fingers one by one, and when he’s about to pass out, I’d cut out his tongue and send it to you in a nice little gift box.”

“I hated when my mother touched me. I felt sick to my core. But do you know what happens to a dog that’s been neglected and beaten its entire life? It still crawls back to its master, hoping and praying for acceptance. It just wants to be loved, no matter what. It just wants that one single, gentle stroke to its scruff.”

“I came to crave her calling my name at night. Because at least then, she’d hold me and praise me.”

“I do trust you, Hammond. See, that’s the thing: I trust you more than I’d like to admit, even to myself. Don’t mistake familiarity for security. That’s what you told me, right?” I’m on a roll, the words ripping from my lips in a stream of hurt and anger. “We’re way past that. I trust you so much that I’d let you approach me on a darkened road. I am that nice girl who would agree to help you carry whatever shit you need to the car because you pretend you’re injured. Remember that time when you approached a girl with a cane, pretending you were blind and fucking lost? Yeah, I would have helped you too. I. Trust. You.”

“Would you still be here with me if Officer Garcia wasn’t behind me, counting down the hours until his shift ends so he can go home and fuck his wife? Let me rephrase my question. Do you fear me, Savannah? Your pulse is racing. I can see it from here. Is it from fear or desire? Are you a religious woman, Savannah?”

“But if you were, you would know that Jesus spoke of love and trust as if they were one and the same. There’s trust in perfect love, and in trust, fear cannot exist.”

“Maybe it’s not up to you. Robbie asked you to interview him, remember? No matter how attached you’ve grown to him, the facts remain the same. Robbie Hammond is a convicted serial killer. His execution date is set. When that day comes, a representative from our newspaper will be there. Maybe he’ll request it to be you. Has the thought ever crossed your mind? Can you put your own feelings aside and be there for him when it’s time?”

“Monster or no monster, you still deserve to have someone in your corner. It’s been a damn honor to be that person. I know you don’t see it. You’re too focused on the wrongs you’ve done, but you’ve come a long way since I first met that young man who’d unleashed his inner pain on the world. Something had to give, Hammond. No one can suffer and not crack under pressure. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Nothing excuses what you did to those women. I’m not trying to justify your actions, but I am telling you that you deserve a fucking break from your own mind. Yes, we’re twenty years too late, but that kid you once were, that kid deserved someone to show him some fucking forgiveness for what was to come. I am here, rooting for that child. Maybe I’m too late, but I’m holding young Robbie’s hand now. He was never alone, and you”—he points a finger at me—“are not alone now either.”

“I get that life behind these walls must be…” he drifts off, studying my face, “…boring, but this girl has her whole life ahead of her. Are you sure you want to break her heart if we fail, Hammond?”

“Here’s the thing. I am a monster, Needham. If I see something I want, I steal it. So you can hold that little boy’s hand, but he will still go after what he wants. And I want this woman. I want her so badly, every nerve ending in my body vibrates. She’s inside my veins, Needham.” I dig my finger into my temple. “She’s in here, driving me fucking crazy. There’s nothing I won’t do. No lengths I won’t go… I will make her mine.”

I’m so fucking alive at this moment, and it dawns on me that I’ve been dead until now and never tasted the flavor of life.

He shoves my skirt up to my waist and growls low in his throat. So…I didn’t put on panties this morning. “Fuck me,” he whispers, wrenching my quivering thighs apart and staring at my pussy. “You’re going to be the death of me…” “You’re the killer here, Robbie. So ruin me.”

“There’s no God within these walls, Savannah. It’s just me, eating your soaking little pussy.”

“You have a choice, ma’am. I’ll gladly burn the world down for you. And I will, without a second’s hesitation. Now, the question is, do you want to burn it to the ground?”

“You want to breathe, Savannah? You want to survive me? Then come. You’ll either strangle my dick with your cunt or die. I’m not allowing you another single breath until you come all over my cock, like my own perfect little slut.”