Until Him (Inevitable, #1)

by Cora Rose

At three a.m., I trudged into the kitchen to look for a cucumber I know we had—a cucumber that looked to be about the same size as Theo’s dick—but Finn had eaten it. Who eats a whole fucking cucumber in one day? Finn, that’s who. But it’s probably a good thing he did; I was going to do awful things to it. The grocery man would see the guilt on my face and know when I went to buy veggies next time. They’d ban me from the produce department, fearful of what I might do to a head of lettuce.

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

It doesn’t help that Curie is sound asleep next to me and purring, loudly—damn cat sounds like a Corvette with a faulty muffler system. I nudge her, but she doesn’t wake up. So, I gently slide her unconscious body under the bed. I don’t want her watching my first time. I can just imagine her holding up tiny scorecards. Four point five for effort, negative seven for technique.

I even clean out Curie’s litter box. She takes a dump right after too, actually making eye contact with me as she pushes a log out.

Movement catches my eye and I see a little squirrel chilling by the trash can. “Hey there, little dude,” I mutter, and it scowls at me. Well, shit. I thought squirrels were supposed to be friendly. “Don’t need to be so rude,” I mutter, and I swear to fucking God that he slashes his tiny hand right across his throat. Is he threatening me?

How the hell am I supposed to walk around life like normal now, knowing that Theo and his mouth are cruising around out there? I don’t fucking know. I am ruined.

Guys like Logan do not fall for guys like me. I’m always the one that gets hurt, and Logan wouldn’t mean it, but he’d do it all the same.

He’s always hiding from me. I hate it. Theo shouldn’t hide from anyone.

“Are you ashamed of me?” I ask, feeling suddenly insecure. I’ve never felt this way, until Theo, and I don’t much like it. “No, of course not. I just don’t go parading my sexuality in front of people I don’t know. No one wants to see two strangers making out anyway.” I cock my head a little and just watch him. Sure the Mystery Spot is trippy, but has anyone met Theo Reign? He’s a right mindfuck. “I think there are plenty of people that would pay good money to see us fucking,” I say, and Theo disappears right under the hood. I can’t even see his face anymore. “Logan, stop it.”

“Do you know what I’ve been talking to my therapist about the last few months?” I swallow and shake my head. “No.” “You. Losing you. I couldn’t give a shit about my leg.” I sniffle and swipe at my eyes. “You haven’t lost me. I’m right here.” “But you’ve changed. Neither of us is the same.” We stare at each other, and my heartbeat thunders in my ears. “I’d lose all my limbs if I could have you back. Nothing has been more painful.”

“Don’t you say it. This is me being a friend, Theo. Your friend. It’s a thing people do.” Fuck. I don’t want to be his friend. I want to be his everything.

He’s so easy-going with others and remembers all their names. Everyone loves him. The selfish part of me hates it because his attention is pulled away from me, but I know this is just who he is. I’d initially thought he was an attention whore, but now I realize that he’s just a genuinely nice person that people want to be around. I don’t blame people for flocking to him. I want to flock to him. I have currently flocked. Oh my god, I’m a stage-five clinger.

“You always look good. You just look…even gooder.” I can no longer speak English. He has robbed me of this.

“You can bring Curie too. My dad loves animals.” Of course he does, he named his chickens. He even cried a little when he gave us the eggs. He probably names his vegetables too.

“Why not?” I ask, and he glances over at me. “Because I don’t want your parents to think poorly of me.” “Not going to happen. My dad already named a chicken after you.” “Jesus Christ,”

“Ah, that’s right. You got a chicken named after you,” Landon tells Theo. “Finn has one too.” My dad waggles the fork with a potato hanging off of it. “He’s had several. They keep dying.” “Well, that’s ominous,”

“But I’m the hottest, right?” I whisper and Theo eyeballs me, then slides his gaze to Landon, Finn, and then my dad. Hell, I’d rather he wasn’t so honest. He’s hurting my feelings. I should be first pick. “I’d say they’ve given you a run for your money,” Theo replies and I pinch his hip a little. He just grinds his ass down around on my lap and I bite back a low moan. He turns his head a little and his warm breath hits my ear. “But you’re the only one I want, Logan.”

“He told me all about the chemical makeup of cannabis, Jeanette,” Basil says, his hand moving down my cat’s back. He ran upstairs right before dinner to let her out of Logan’s room because, and I quote, “pretty kitties deserve Thanksgiving too”.

Like I said, you unlocked something inside of me. Didn’t really know what I liked until I met you.” I step closer to him, and he reaches out and pulls me into his chest. “I think you’re just really fucking high,” I mutter into his shirt. “Nah, I feel this way all the time around you, Theo. You make me feel high, too.”

“Don’t know what those guys did to you, Theo, but you’ve done something to me. And I’m not saying this because I’m high.” “Logan,” I begin to protest, but he just presses into me further. “Don’t you fucking feel it?” I feel something, all right. But part of me can’t believe he’s saying this. It has to be the drugs. It has to be. “I can’t,” I say. He presses his nose to mine and his breath puffs against my mouth. “You can, you just don’t want to. Always pushing me away. Why can’t you just let it fucking be?” My breaths are coming out shaky and my chest aches. “I won’t hurt you, Theo.” “You don’t know that. I always end up hurt.” His lips settle on mine, so soft and sweet. “I think at the end of this, if anyone ends up broken, it will be me,” Logan mutters against my mouth and then just buries his face in my neck.

Basil turns a little, showing me a content Curie licking her paw and ignoring me completely. My god, is that a Petpod? Is he carrying Curie around on his back now? The little brat is getting spoiled to death. First Logan with his incessant gifts, and now she’s being toted around like she’s Cleopatra.

“Do you want me?” I blurt. Theo blinks up at me. “Tell me!” He swallows and nods. “Of course I do, but I don’t want you to feel like—” I don’t let him finish. I just pull him up into my arms, crushing him to my chest. “Then don’t fucking push me away. I’m not through with you. I don’t think I’ll ever be through with you.” His body trembles against me and a sob erupts out of him, and all that lingering frustration is expelled in a breath. “Fuck. I’m not leaving, and you’re spending motherfucking Christmas with me. And the new year. And next Christmas, too. And the rest of our time on earth, really.”

“Jesus, Theo. We’re boyfriends. Okay? That’s what we’re going to tell them. Repeat after me, boyfriends.” I gape at him and my heart skips a beat. “Are you sure?” He grumbles under his breath. “I’m fucking sure. You’re mine. Good luck getting rid of me.”

Who knew he’d be the one to help me heal? Who knew he’d be the perfect person for me? Not me. It was never me, until him.