The Complete Malazan Book of the Fallen

by Steven Erikson

‘For what it’s worth, there’s people who don’t want to see you dead, Buke. They see you wasting away inside, and they care enough so that it pains them—’ ‘Guilt’s a good weapon, Gruntle, or at least it has been for a long time. Doesn’t cut any more, though. If you choose to care, then you better swallow the pain. I don’t give a damn, myself.’ ‘Stonny—’ ‘Is worth more than messing herself up with me. I’m not interested in being saved, anyway. Tell her that.’ ‘You tell her, Buke, and when she puts her fist in your face just remember that I warned you here and now. You tell her – I won’t deliver your messages of self-pity.’ ‘Back off, Gruntle. I’d hurt you bad before you finished using those cutlasses on me.’ ‘Oh, that’s sweet – get one of your few remaining friends to kill you. Seems I was wrong, it’s not just self-pity, is it? You’re not obsessed with the tragic deaths of your family, you’re obsessed with yourself, Buke. Your guilt’s an endlessly rising tide, and that ego of yours is a levee and all you do is keep slapping fresh bricks on it. The wall gets higher and higher, and you’re looking down on the world from a lofty height – with a Hood-damned sneer.’ Buke was pale and trembling. ‘If that’s the way you see it,’ he rasped, ‘then why call me friend at all?’ Beru knows, I’m beginning to wonder. He drew a deep breath, managed to calm himself down. ‘We’ve known each other a long time. We’ve never crossed blades.’ And you were in the habit of getting drunk for days on end...