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March 23 - March 28, 2023
IT WOULD BE A MILLION TO ONE CHANCE, said Death. EXACTLY A MILLION TO ONE CHANCE.
“Goodbye.” BE SEEING YOU.
I want mastery of the kingdoms of the world, I want to meet the most beautiful woman who has ever lived, and I want to live for ever.”
Demons have existed on the Discworld for at least as long as the gods, who in many ways they closely resemble. The difference is basically the same as that between terrorists and freedom fighters.
Hell needed horribly-bright, self-centred people like Eric. They were much better at being nasty than demons could ever manage.
This is because most of the first type of commander are brave men, whereas cowards make far better strategists.
The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.
when he got home he fought his wife’s suitors and everything, and his dear old dog recognised him and died.”
“It’s always the same with these hot-blooded types,” said Rincewind. “They definitely go downhill at thirty-five.”
“Anyway, you shouldn’t believe everything you read in the Classics,” Rincewind added. “They never check their facts. They’re just out to sell legends.”
“Good, though, the way your Luggage rescued everyone.” “Yes.” “Funny to see all those kids riding on its back.” “Yes.”
“Some people”—and here the creator looked sharply at the unformed matter still streaming past—“think it’s enough to install a few basic physical formulas and then take the money and run. A billion years later you got leaks all over the sky, black holes the size of your head, and when you pray up to complain there’s just a girl on the counter who says she don’t know where the boss is.
“Multiple exclamation marks,” he went on, shaking his head, “are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
“You’d really hate it here if you was musicians. Hate it more, I mean. The walls play music all day long, well, he calls it music, I’ve got nothing against a good tune, mark you, something to scream along with, but this isn’t it, I mean, I heard where we’re supposed to have all the best tunes, so why’ve we got all this stuff that sounds like someone turned on the piano and then walked away and left it?”
It is probably an English version of an American hotel, but operated with that peculiarly English genius for taking something American and subtracting from it its one worthwhile aspect, so that you end up with slow fast food, West Country and Western music and, well, this hotel.
For boredom to be enjoyable there had to be something to compare it with.
“According to Ephebian mythology, there’s a girl who comes down here every winter.” “To keep warm?” “I think the story says she actually creates the winter, sort of.” “I’ve known women like that,” said Rincewind, nodding wisely.
“One of the first rules of running away is, never look back.”
It is hard to say whether the Luggage was happy or not. It had viciously attacked fourteen demons so far, and had three of them cornered in their own pit of boiling oil. Soon it would have to follow its master, but it didn’t have to rush.
One of the demons made a frantic grab for the bank. The Luggage stamped heavily on its fingers.
“I think they’re meant to be good intentions,” said Rincewind. This was a road to Hell, and demons were, after all, traditionalists.
