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“I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, Lord.” “Indeed? Then if I were you I’d sue my face for slander.”
No, what he didn’t like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.
Law of Conservation of Reality; this demanded that the effort needed to achieve a goal should be the same regardless of the means used.
Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.