The Color of Magic (Discworld, #1)
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“I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, Lord.” “Indeed? Then if I were you I’d sue my face for slander.”
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No, what he didn’t like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.
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Law of Conservation of Reality; this demanded that the effort needed to achieve a goal should be the same regardless of the means used.
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Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.