House of Frank

by Kay Synclaire

Pronunciation Guide Arboretum: ar-bore-ee-tum Beelzebub: bee-el-zi-bub Evette: ee-vet Fiona/Fi: fee-oh-na/fee Frank: fr⁠—Do you really need this?

Omg this was funny

“Ask for Frank,” the beast finishes with a smile. He waves at me. “Hello, I’m Frank.

Oh i know frank is gonna be my favorite

It’s a lovely sentiment, but it dredges up the image of you on your deathbed, stuffing the ad into my palms. Take me here, Sai, you said to me. Don’t scatter me in the wind to be forgotten. I want to be planted. I want to become something beautiful.

“I’m a Music witch. I can enchant anything to play music, though piano is a favorite of mine.”

Oh thats fun

I smile. “I suppose after being so used to enchantments, I may have learned a thing or two.” Frank tilts his head, considering something for a moment. “What an amazing gift you have. It would be my absolute honor to plant your sister’s ashes and make her death into something beautiful.” Tears prick my eyes. Your voice echoing once again, I want to become something beautiful. “That’s what Fiona wants.”

Why was that so heartwarming

Also on my bedside table is a green clay mug filled with dark liquid. The name Hilde is painted on the rim. It sits on top of a note. Enchanted tea to heal exhaustion. This should fix you right up. —⁠Hilde

Cute!

My knees grow weak, and I collapse. “I was too late. I’m so sorry.” My chest aches with sorrow, but no tears come. When I glance down at my hands, I realize my gloves are gone. And even more peculiar, my palms are glowing bright like the sun. They burn, growing hotter and hotter, but the pain keeps me fixed in silence. Your voice washes over me like the low tide. Saika, what did you do?

Oh shoot did she do something? Is this an elsa moment?

“I know what you mean.” She scoffs. “How could you possibly? You’re still very young. There’s still much for you to learn about the world.” “Young. Old. We all experience life whether we’ve had lots of it or very little.”

Barsss

We stop before the entrance. When I gaze through, there are tiny translucent glimmers drifting this way and that. “This is a portal.” Frank nods proudly. “The arboretum exists outside this realm. A design by my late wife and her colleague. He was a Research and Agriculture witch. He helped Kye create the arboretum. She wanted to create a place where the dead can continue to grow and live well after they’re gone.” He looks over at me. “Are you ready to head inside?”

Oh wow interesti ng

“Phil . . .” I glance at the empty space at the end of the table. Food shifts around the plate, but never gets eaten. “That is you down there, isn’t it, Phil?” A fork levitates in the air and waves.

Ok yeah love phil

Oli grimaces. “No offense, but you’re lousy in the kitchen. You and that grumpy demon you call a brother.” “Hey, now.” Merry laughs. “That’s unfair. I think we’ve gotten better at baking.”

Ok loving Merry too

“That’s Beelzebub.” Oli looks at me smugly. “She’s a dragon.” “A dragon?” My voice shrieks. “What on earth is a dragon doing here?”

What the!

When we land, my legs feel like jelly. Oli raises her brows at me as I get my bearings. Something is calculated in her head, but she doesn’t say anything. She pulls a map out of her back pocket and sets it on the ground. I hover near her, trying to make sense of the lines and circles she’s drawn on

Maybe shes not a witch!

“Damn it all, Saika.” She finally looks at me, smile still fixed and tears glistening in her dark eyes. “I like you.” This shuts me down completely. My head spins, untethered from my body. What did she just say, Fi? And if that’s not bad enough, she continues. “I think you’re beautiful. And you speak funny.” She chuckles.

KICKING MY FEET

“Go on and say what you gotta say. I don’t care to listen.” Morose glances over his shoulder. Merry shakes his head. “Anyway, I wanted to know if you’d like to join me and Evette for a book club meeting?” “How delightful.” I glance between him and Morose. “But why are you whispering?” “Well, it’s sort of a secret club. We have a picnic and talk about what we’ve been reading. We have snacks and wine. Morose gets a bit huffy because he’s not invited anymore.”

Oh shoot thats the damn cutest thing

I continue outside, hearing Morose and Merry bicker behind me. “Oh, first Phil can join and now Saika?” Morose huffs. “How is that fair?” “Morose, your sausage is burning.”

Damnit these two are a ctually so funny

“That’s an awful lot of power for just . . . what? Repairs for a house? A garden?” I feel like I’m shaking. “It’s a fallen star. It has the power to change fate, you know. With it, you can cure sicknesses, and move entire mountains and seas, and . . .” You can even resurrect a life.

Girl what did you try to do

Ignatius looks at me with a dead expression. He slowly removes the pipe from his mouth and blows smoke toward me. “I know who you are. I saw you walking up that first day. Bumbling about in the rain.” “Why does everyone think I was bumbling?” “I don’t need to know any more about you.” I step away to take a better look at all of his belongings. “Then I’ll just infer and make my own patterns about you.”

Oh shoot! Burnnnnn

I bite the inside of my cheek. “Thank you for saving our lives. I’m sorry if I hadn’t said it before.” He doesn’t say anything. He continues reading. “And . . .” I sigh. “We found the star behind my nana’s house.” He picks his head up, but he doesn’t turn around. He inconspicuously picks up a pen and writes. “Where does she live?” he asks.

Lol

“Frank is allergic to bananas.” Her breath tickles the back of my neck. “Merry doesn’t like raspberries, and Phil won’t eat a thing that has broccoli in it.” “But Phil doesn’t even eat.” I turn around, and she’s grinning much too close to my face. Heat rises up my neck, but I remain cool. She’s a shameless flirt. I won’t fall prey to her teasing. “We accommodate everyone. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Phil just wants to fit in

Then her heavy head rests against my palm. Heat emanates through the tough leather of my glove. “You’re a good girl, Bee.” And this time she doesn’t screech. In fact, I feel her purr.

Sweetness

How funny is that, Fi? Summoning Death is as easy as speaking his name, according to Merry. If only he knew . . . “Okay, Merry. I won’t say his name, either.” When I flip his book closed, I notice an inscription on the inside cover. From your mama, To my joy, my heart, and my blood. Merry, Mellow, and Morose.

Oh gosh theres a third o ne

He takes the book back and holds it in his lap. “He was my brother. Our brother,” he corrects himself. “We’re triplets, you see. Morose and I. Mel always sort of kept the peace between us. He kept us from arguing most of the time.” Merry smiles sadly as he thinks back. “He’d sit and listen to me ramble. He was about the only one who could make Morose laugh. He was the best of us, but . . .” He stops, and Evette hovers onto his knee. “I’m alright,” he says to her.

Why am i teary eyed

“He forgot!” Oli yells. She pushes her hair back from her forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Frank hasn’t been much help. Let’s just . . . Hilde’ll greet them, but she can only be around them for a bit. Merry, I want you to direct them and for fuck’s sake, put on some pants.”

I didnt realize merry and morose were fully naked

I reach up to touch her face. “Oh, Hilde.”

Gasp! What a pleasant surprise!

“You’re right.” She sets down her mug. “Growing up with my gift, it was hard trying to place what emotions were mine, and what emotions were everyone else’s. It often felt like I was only a vessel to be used by everyone else. That portrait”⁠—she points to the one on the mantel⁠—“was made the day I chose to become an Architect witch. And also the day that I decided to live my life as exactly who I needed to be. And I found the real me . . . and her name was Hilde. And she . . . I . . . am everything that I’ve ever wanted.”

Ok trans rep

She hops off me. “Saika, I’m sorry. I’ve crossed a line.” She stops when she sees what I’m wagging before her face. My wand. She checks her boot, and a grin spreads on her face. “Oh, you fucker⁠—” “What’s wrong?” I raise my brow. “Do I still need lessons in getting what I want?”

Oh shoot!

The train starts up, and we move forward. I sit beside Oli. “Giving up your seat for a ghost?” she asks. “What?” “Nothing. It’s just . . . it’s nice. Unnecessary. But nice.” I roll my eyes. The compliment feels like a trap. I fold my hands in my lap and glance down to my leather gloves. I feel compelled, so I tell her, “Thank you.”

“It’s only a question. Come on, Morose.” He sighs. “It was Frank’s idea. He thought spending some time away from my brother would help me . . . get out some of my anger. And arguing with people down here lets me blow off some steam.” “Maybe you should go get something for yourself?” Oli says to Morose. “Spend a few copper pieces. You work so hard, Morry.”

Morry is a cute ass nickname

“One year.” He pauses as if he’s piecing the memory back together. “It should’ve been longer but calling on Death proved disastrous. Phil used an ancient relic to summon him, but it wasn’t enough power. Death sought more, and he took Phil’s life. And it worked. Kye came back.” He taps his paw on the arm of the chair.

my jaw is dropped bitch

“You are such a child!” I cough, but Oli is too busy laughing. She pulls me into her arms. Her wet hands cup the sides of my face, and in the next moment, her soft lips press against mine.

My Shayla!!!

“Well, that wasn’t a lie.” She chuckles brokenly. “It is fun to tease you because . . . because I like you.” “I’m no one special, Olivie. By the next ceremony, you’ll find someone else, someone better. You don’t really like me⁠—” “I don’t want anyone else.” She holds my hand firmly. “When I would bring someone to my room after a ceremony, it wasn’t so I could bed them. I was lonely, Saika. They were hurting. I was hurting. But when I’m with you, I’m not. You make me laugh. You make me want to be better, and have fun, and live. So, yes. I think I do like you. A lot, actually.”

five star ro.mance

His song crescendos, and I recognize the melody. I hum along, for I’ve heard it in my sleep. I’ve heard it play across the hall softly in the wee hours of the night. It’s beautiful, and I don’t want it to stop. The blue light slowly fades until it disappears back into the smoke. When it all dissipates, I look at Oli. Her eyes are misty. “That’s my son. That’s Henley.”

GASP

The star glows hotter, but before its power unleashes, Frank grabs my wrist and presses the star against my chest. “Frank, what⁠—” “Take care of them.” A light blinds us, and my chest is set ablaze. The ceiling finally snaps, and the wood and debris crash down. I fall to my knees, cradling my burning chest and crying out. Then I feel Frank’s heavy body crash on top of me, and there’s nothing at all. Only darkness.

release a shuddering breath. “Fiona, what am I going to do without you? Who will I talk to about my life? I have no one.” “Then talk to me. Write me letters. Speak to me in your mind. You are my sister, and our souls will forever be intertwined. In this life and the next. Speak to me. I’ll hear you.”

Tears

My eyes burned with tears as I bent down to kiss his head. “Don’t worry about it, Frank. Just know that I’m a friend. I’ll go get your breakfast.” As I picked up my journal to leave, he called out to me. “Thank you, Saika.” I turned around, and he smiled, waving at me. I stuffed down the sob that threatened to ruin me. I blew him a kiss instead. “And thank you, Frank.” When I returned with his breakfast, he was gone.

DAMN YOU