PRINCE OF LUST

by Lucien Burr

Which is why I want to ruin my life, you see. I am older. I am jaded. And I no longer think God is merciful.

knew if I were to linger in the world, then I would do the unthinkable.

I would fall in love with a man. I would touch him. I would love it.

knew what I wanted. The only thing that remained for me to do was take it.

Except, of course, it wasn’t. It was the Devil himself, tip-toeing around my skull.

“You came here thinking it would change you. You came here hoping it would. Choral singing and stained glass and the fetor of clogging incense—you wanted it to cleanse your insides. Destroy the infection in you with sacred light. And instead, two decades of it has made you this: barely contained, feral, furious.

What has God’s love given you except shame? What has God ...

But each step was another promise to the Devil: I am coming. I hear your call, and I will follow you.

I ignored the anxiety sent by God to deter me and gave up all hope of redemption. Let the Devil have me.

Let the boy believe he can be good. Let us prove over years and years of his life that he can’t be. Let us show the man the truth of this matter; let us show him why Lucifer fell from Heaven.

then who else but the Prince of Lechery would reach for me?

Asmodeus.

In order to summon him, you must be filled with true desire for him. Draw the symbol. Draw blood. With the same hand that drew blood, touch yourself as you wish to be touched.

God had been a detour, and pleasure was the only thing I wished to worship.

Isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this the kind of filth you have craved your whole life?

I braced myself for a demon.

“You have summoned me with desire. With the open wet gore of your own body, you have pleasured yourself. You have thought of me

and manifested me, and I can see what you want. You’ve been wanting it for years. Someone to open up your body. To take it. To make you take it. To hold you down as they ruin you.”