Undulate (Alchemy, #2)

by Elodie Hart

No strings. Simply to use Maddy’s gorgeous, willing body for my own pleasure.

And sweet Jesus. The moment I wrapped a hand around her thigh, the second my fingers met the wet fabric of her thong, and most definitely the instant I sank them inside her body, I was a fucking goner. Lost in the sweet song of her flesh. In the sheer rapture of having her come apart before my eyes. At my hands. On my fucking desk. I didn’t know an experience that dirty could yield such purity of thought.

‘You had your eye on her before we went through, didn’t you?’ He shakes his head. ‘I think you’ve had eyes on her for a while.’ ‘No comment.’ ‘Throw me a bone.’ He drinks. ‘Right.’ I sigh. Here goes. ‘She’s very beautiful, obviously. And she seems to—we seem to have reached some sort of very early,

um, understanding that I should enjoy her… physically to… work through some of my… issues.’

‘You’re saying she wants to fuck around with you, no strings, so you can blow off some steam?’ ‘That’s basically it,’ I

‘What’s so funny?’ ‘Mate.’ He slaps the table. ‘I’m fucking thrilled for you. That’s exactly what Rafe and I’ve been saying you need. And Maddy—whew.’ He blows out a breath. ‘She’ll look after you well, if you catch my drift.’

It doesn’t surprise me that she’s turned on. She’s mentioned enough times that it’s her ultimate fantasy to be auctioned off like this, sold to the highest bidder and claimed by her predatory new owner. Believe me, it’s quickly become my ultimate fantasy, too.

Tonight I’m the man Maddy needs me to be. The man I need to be. A predator who has a single objective. To get my money’s worth.

Oh my God. It’s everything—he’s everything I’ve been hoping he’d be. Everything I need him to be. I’ve pushed my sexy, beautiful, nerdy sort-of boss too far, and he’s finally broken. He’s going to shatter both of us tonight.

It strikes me suddenly. He’s doing this for me. Because he knows I like it. He’s just paid through the nose for me, yet he’s choreographing our entire evening around my desires. None of this is his thing. But he’s got it the wrong way around. The whole point of our little arrangement is that it’s for his benefit, not mine. Sure, I’m very up for all the multiple orgasms at the hands of a gorgeous, repressed, wounded guy, but I’m the one who proposed he use my body to sate his needs. Slay his demons.

I’ve earned her, and I get to take her. All of her.

could play with them forever. Maddy was right. Her entire fucking body is a stress toy.

I want it all. Every demeaning, chauvinistic, impersonal, entitled violation he can think of. I want that unhealthy dynamic where the power imbalance and intimacy are equally undeniable. Equally true. I want it so badly I’m dripping. His fingers actually squelched when he pushed them inside my body just now.

Joining and winning a bidding frenzy because I was driven half mad with lust at seeing her up there on stage with that guy warming her up. Ordering her to her knees almost as soon as I’d won her. Trussing her up on the cross and commandeering a crew to help me to go town on her. And fucking her from behind, twice, just as I’ve imagined doing since I ate her in Alchemy and just as I’ve tried very hard not to imagine doing for far, far longer than that.

She consumed me in the best possible way, and I was here for every second of it, and I suspect it was just what I needed.

‘You know I think you’re hot too,’ she says, her tone awkward. ‘I mean, obviously.’ I smile at her, and she laughs. ‘What?’ I ask. She shakes her head like she’s embarrassed. ‘I dunno. It’s just—yeah, I had a thing for you at work. You know, the hot, quiet type. The challenge. But I didn’t honestly think you’d be straddling me in my bedroom on a Sunday afternoon.’ I lean forward so I can brush my palms over the satiny skin of her stomach as I consider what she said. ‘I know. Neither did I.’

Which is what gives me the courage to tell Maddy the truth. ‘You’re my first everything since my wife.’ She blows out a breath. ‘I thought so—I mean, it sounded that way from what you’ve said before. But—are you okay with it?’ ‘I’m not okay, necessarily, in that I’m not sure what to make of all this.’ I look her in the eye. ‘But if you’re asking if I’m enjoying my time with you, and if I’m attracted to you and grateful for what you’ve given me, the answer to all those is an unequivocal yes.’ ‘Good.’ She kisses me.

Nerdy, grumpy Office Zach is annoyingly attractive. Filthy, unleashed Playroom Zach is hot AF. But intense, sensual Bedroom Zach is… dangerous. And that’s a problem.

‘You didn’t sign up for this,’ he murmurs. ‘You signed up for lots of orgasms, not me dumping on you.’

‘I signed up for making you feel better,’ I tell him, ‘and if that includes this, then I’m grateful I can help.’

This guy may not have admitted to a kinky side before I got my hands on him, but it’s obvious he enjoys this as much as I do. He’s good at it, too. He’s naturally commanding, naturally intimidating in the best kind of way, with his particular brand of intellectual superiority and quiet aloofness. And I am, naturally, in a pool of lust at his feet already.

‘You’re every man’s fantasy, Mads.’ He pulls out and slams back in hard, and any remaining air leaves my lungs as I take his dick. ‘Bent over like this, your pussy begging to be fondled and fucked. Should I let someone else have a go?’

‘No,’ I moan.

‘Why?’

‘Because nobody else makes me feel as good as you do.’

‘I have a confession to make,’ he murmurs in my ear as our heart rates return to normal.

‘I’d give anything,’ he says, ‘to take you home with me and curl myself around you all night.’

‘There are people in this life who are takers by nature, and that makes them drains, and those are the ones we avoid, hmm? But there are also truly good, wonderful people who have so much to give when they’re in a good place, but who may end up draining us all the same when they’re struggling, without either party being remotely aware of it.’

There’s only one woman not trying to slip a replacement ring on my finger, and she’s standing right in front of me, so beautiful, and dazzling, and light-filled she takes my breath away. She’s not interested in Zach French, wealthy widower, single dad and theoretically eligible. Nor is she interested in faking a relationship with my daughters in the hope that they’re the gateway to my heart. Because she’s not after my heart.

‘I’m not your girlfriend.’ ‘I said secret girlfriend,’ I remind her.

‘I didn’t think you wanted a girlfriend,’ she says. ‘I didn’t think so, either,’ I tell her. ‘And then I started spending time with you.’ Her entire face lights up. ‘I didn’t want to let you go this evening,’ I tell her honestly. ‘I didn’t want to go,’ she says in a small voice. ‘I felt so shit as soon as I turned the key in my lock. My flat’s so dark and empty. But how would it even work?’ ‘How about,’ I say, ‘I take you out for dinner very soon, so we can have a proper conversation about this? And meanwhile, I make you feel less empty. Do you have any toys you can use on yourself?’

corner. ‘I love you,’ he says, his voice almost breaking with emotion

I love Zach. I am totally, outrageously and horrifyingly in love with my older, gorgeous, nerdy boss who is the kindest and most thoughtful man on the planet and the best dad in the world and literally so completely opposite to what I thought my type was that it’s actually laughably ridiculous.

Oh Jesus fuck, I love him so much. I, like, adore him. I hero-worship him. So, so much that I feel like the blindest, stupidest person in all of humanity not to have figured it out earlier.

‘I love you,’ I manage to blurt out in a kind of desperate and not hugely romantic way, but I need him to know, like, yesterday. ‘I love you so much.’

say it back.’ I grin back like a lunatic and nod, also like a lunatic. But he needs to understand. It’s really important. ‘That’s why I was crying. Because, you know, you said it, and then I was like, oh my God, he loves me, and then I was like fucking hell, I love him too, and woah woah woah, that’s why I’ve been feeling so shitty and insecure.’ I press my lips together in a futile attempt at stemming the next flow of tears, because this whole declaration of love stuff is seriously emotional. ‘Hey,’ he says, moving his face back a little so he can see me properly. He really is a fucking beautiful man. ‘Why were you feeling insecure? What could you possibly have to feel insecure about?’

‘Repeat after me, Madeleine. It will last between us.’ God, he’s so gorgeous.

He sees me. And he loves me. Honestly? I’m not sure there’s anything better than that.

Whatever’s driving this desire of hers for a baby, I’ll take it as the true gift it is. Because if losing my first wife prematurely has taught me anything, it’s this. Life, and love, are all we can ask for.

And I can’t think of a better way to honour that philosophy than by creating new life with the woman I love. The woman who brought me and my daughters truly back to life. Who’s filled our days with healing sunshine and laughter. The woman who’s proven to me, in her own carefree, understated way, that she’s a natural caregiver. That her endless capacity for love and joy will make her as wonderful a mother as she’s been a de facto stepmother to the girls this past eighteen months.

What she’s given me is the furthest thing from oblivion. Instead, she’s given me the gift of consciousness. Of being able to stay present and open to the abundance life has to offer. I’ll never be able to thank her. And I’ll never stop trying.

There is nothing like having my hands on Madeleine. Touching her has calmed me and healed me since Day One, since long before I was ready to admit the power she had over me and my grief.