Call It What You Want

by Alissa DeRogatis

I’d never known a heartbreak like this, one that caused physical pain.

For the girl who was finally starting to be in control of her own life, I sure felt pretty powerless.

“Sloane, you’re not stupid. Love just blinds people. You were blind and hopeful, never stupid.”

“Some people just aren’t ready, no matter how much time you give them. Nothing will change until they decide they’re ready,”

Isn’t it funny how that happens? One day you don’t know someone exists, and the next you can’t imagine life without them.

It would all make sense one day.

I remember when I thought I’d never meet anyone like him when, really, he was just another person who was coming and going from my life.

we both exist in the same room and act as though we’re strangers now.

A polite smile is the only moment we share. No small talk or asking how each other has been, because it hurts too much to know. It hurts too much to go back there again. I know he feels it too.

I know he loved me, and I’d like to think that a part of him still does. Maybe, like me, a part of him always will.

Here’s the thing about unconditional love though—it isn’t one-sided. It isn’t standing in someone’s doorway begging to be let in. It isn’t taking your heart out of your chest, bloody and beating, and handing it to someone to do whatever they want with it. Unconditional love is someone breaking down the cage of your ribs to get your heart and you trusting they’ll protect it just the same.

This isn’t one of those beautiful love stories where they get back together in the end. This is one of those stories where the hurt and the confusion consumes them.

Call it what you want, but for me it was love.