His Pretty Little Burden (Kids of The District, #4)

by Nicci Harris

song list

"She doesn't eat. Hardly sleeps."

you were my property, I'd bend you over my knee."

"You are my responsibility. While you are under my roof, you will eat three meals a day. You will make yourself comfortable. If you don't like something, use your voice, say it. You

will not apologise unless you have done something wrong. The word sorry carries no significance when it's used to hide a lack of confidence."

"Who put this inside you, little deer?"

"So, you haven't failed, sweet girl."

"You are resilient despite all odds. And you'll survive what's to come."

Neither she nor I tolerate children well, and yet, when I felt that ripple, when I saw my little deer's eyes mist over with emotion, I felt a kind of feral possessiveness.

"Mine," I hiss. Mine. Mine. A word I didn't know I would use, but now that I have, it takes root inside me. My responsibility. Mine to protect. Mine to care for. To clothe. To look at. Mine.

"Your father doesn't know your dress size. Or that the only time you clean your plate is when you're given sweets. That you use humour to deflect. That you have nightmares about the television."

Fucksake, I care. I care about her.

"But I have never seen you look at a girl the way you looked at her tonight."

"And how was that?"

"Like you couldn't bea...

You're safe..."

"You're safe here. You have no place being here, yes, and you will leave once it's all done, but for now, you're under my care. You have my word."

"You're stronger than that, my girl. You're better than that thought."

"You are better than them. You don't need anyone,"

"You will survive everything the world throws at you because you have learned how to adapt. You will survive. Just like you have survived everything else in your life. You're a very brave girl. Wilful. Stop apologising for being you."

He belted me in.

"You'll survive too,"

"You won't fail."

"We should buy it for him,"

"I will always believe you."

Because... I think I love him.

And I am in love with him.

"I wish he was yours,"

"He is."

"This is the last thing, Fawn. I swear it! The last thing. I will drag God himself to Hell before I let you hurt again."

Her suicide: number one. His murder: number two. My miscarriage: number three.

“You want me to be just Clay?"

“Okay, sweet girl. You asked me once why I couldn’t sleep.”

“I told you I was afraid of failure, sweet girl, and you looked at me like I was out of my goddamn mind. A man like me clearly doesn’t fail.”

“Truth is, I fail a lot, little deer. I fail everyone besides myself. I’m a selfish fucker like that. The woman I have spent most of my life with is a prisoner of the Cosa Nostra. My prisoner. She either leaves and loses everything she has a right ...

“My brothers… I was never there for them. I don’t know how to make that up to them. I don’t think there is a way. Xander has pain that I know nothing about, and I’m too stubborn to ask or allow him to dwell on such a thing. The Butcher in me wants to knock it from his skull and tell him to toughen up. I know that’s wrong, but I can’t change the way I am. "Max. He closed off a long time ago. I barely even know the man he has become. "Bronson. I left him with the weight of being what I should have been. I left him to look after them even though I promised him once, many years ago, that I would get him out. But I never did. He lost part of his sanity to this business because I could...

“And you, sweet girl. I have failed you now, too. If I wasn’t such a selfish bastard, I would have organised another ultrasound so you could see the heartbeat that I saw. I should have twisted the screen that first time. I should have... Perhaps we would have caught something. And if I didn...

the baby and left the city, little deer. Given you everything that a beautiful, resilient girl like you deserves from a man like me who has it to give. Perhaps I would have left this life for you. Been comfortable, being comf...

“I won’t be asking you to leave.”

“Why?”

“Why? I have nothing to offer you, and you have everything. I get you felt responsible for me before, but without the baby, I just don’t buy it. What do you want from me? Because I’ll be honest,

Sir, I won’t survive much more of this. You’re saying things you don’t mean and making me stupidly hopeful for a future with you in ...

“I won’t survive the day you drop me, Sir, because my entire world is starting to centre around you, and I’m fucking scared that I’ll have nothing left inside me once you pull yourself out! So, tell me. Tell me why! Why me!”

“Fawn. Why you? Because when I’m with you, my sweet girl, I’m lost. And I quite enjoy that.”

Because ever since I laid eyes on you, sweet girl, that is the only place they have wanted to be.”

“I love you, Clay.”

“You slept through the night, Sir. I’m so proud of you for not fighting it,”

"I'm in love with you,"

"I know it's a stupid word. An unspectacular and ordinary word, but it's the one that means what I feel. Can I say it to you? Can I say it as much as I want?"

"...