Redeemed (Dirty Air, #4)

by Lauren Asher

Some kisses stoke a passion. Some kisses heal the soul. Kissing Chloe is a combination of two—the sweetest medicine that leads to a lifelong addiction.

Chloe’s eyes bounce between my lips and my eyes. “That was…” Real. Incredible. Fucking undeniable and if you friend-zone me again I swear to God I’ll kiss the word straight out of your vocabulary. “Only the beginning.” I brush my thumb across her lower lip one last time, the plumpness easily becoming my favorite distraction.

brows pull together as she releases an exaggerated sigh. “Well, I guess since the car is broken, we should just quit now before anyone gets hurt. Better safe than sorry.” “You forgot to turn the car on.” I cover my smile with my fist.

I pluck her hand from the gear shift and show her the movements. The addictive smell of her invades my nose as I lean in. I want to stay in the position, with my dick throbbing and her driving my car becoming an erotic dream.

“Did you just sniff my hair?” Chloe’s incredulous voice snaps me out of my fantasy. “No.” “Oh my God, you totally did!” Her giggles become a full-blown belly laugh. “You’re delusional. I was trying to check for any gas leaks.” “In my hair?”

“You’re shy.” She traces a finger across my heating cheeks. Her touch ignites a fire in my veins, forcing more blood into the very cheeks she strokes. Fuck. Since when have I been shy?

“You totally are. Tell me, why do you like sniffing my hair?” “Truth or lie?” Her gaze meets mine. “Truth. Always the truth.” “Because you smell annoyingly good and I wanted more, okay? Are you happy now?” “Absolutely thrilled. Sniff away, you creep.” Her laugh drowns out the car booting up.

“Will you pass me the screwdriver, please.” Santiago rolls out from underneath the car, hitting me with his brown eyes.

The last thing I want is her help, but I can’t find it in me to snap something miserable. To push her away before she sees the mess I really am.

If she’s the princess who picks wildflowers and radiates sunshine, then I’m the beast—scarred with a personality to match. And like the beast, I’m better off left alone. Newsflash

“Please go away,” I rasp. “No. I’d translate it into Spanish, but it’s the same shit, different language. So no and no.” She lulls the last word in a fake accent. I want to smile, but I settle on a scowl.

“No. What I need is to wipe your memory of the last ten minutes.” “Well, it seems like you’re stuck with me now since the Men in Black are busy.” I sigh, hating what comes next. “You can go now.” “Do you want me to?” “Don’t you want to go?”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here with you.” She drops onto the rug across from me and crosses her legs.

“Nope. Not going there right now with you.” “Buzzkill.” I sigh. “Then tell me what else you wished for.” “I wanted someone to appreciate my presence rather than destroy it.” I frown, hating how she needs to wish for something like that in the first place. “Why did you wish for that?” “That’s a story for another day.” Fuck another day. I want the story now. “Come on.”

“Fine for now. But how do you know the wish came true?” “Because I met you.” Shit. How does her simple statement make my heart pound harder against my chest?

“No. It’s just the truth.” I cross my arms and look out the window. It’s not as if Santiago means to judge, but it comes off that way. The air shifts between us as I remain quiet. I can spend two hours in silence as long as he doesn’t play jazz music. That’s a hard limit. He clears his throat. “I’m sorry if what I said came out wrong. I wasn’t trying to insult you.”

“Because if you love something enough to smile like you are right now, then you should pursue it before it’s too late.” I press a hand to my lips. “I don’t have the time.” “And you never will if you keep finding reasons not to.” Whoa. Here I’ve been pushing Santiago out of his comfort zone, only to have him do the same. Santiago

She’s always been beautiful. But her by my side while I battle my demons? It’s a look that can’t compare. “Focus on the damn road!”

I traveled to Italy to find my family, but all I’ve done is throw myself into someone else’s. The worst part is I want more of it. I shouldn’t crave more experiences with Santiago’s family, but I can’t resist. I’ve been denied a family to call my own for years. And my starved heart will suck up any kind of love it can get, even if it’s poison.

There’s nothing I want more than for Chloe to forget that I’m different. I don’t need to be coddled because she thinks I shouldn’t do what a normal man can. Fuck that. Fuck it all to hell and back because I’m over that shit around her. I’m all man. No injury or metal leg can stop me from proving that to her.

“Sir, if you didn’t realize I was crazy after I broke into your house, then you set yourself up for that kind of disappointment.” Her comment makes me snort in the most unflattering way.

“I can’t have sex with you.” “Then what do you call the thing we just did?” “Something amazing.” I’m absolutely baffled. She has my mind spinning. She continues. “It was incredible—for me at least. But I don’t want to have sex until you’re ready to reveal yourself to me. And I mean all of you.”

“Life is about creating the memories that matter, while forgetting the ones that don’t.” I want to create new memories. With my family, with racing, and maybe even with Chloe.

I want to see what she sees in me. I’ve lived the past three years in a world of black and white. Depression and isolation ate away at the man I was, creating someone I don’t recognize.

Chloe’s eyes because it’s like seeing color for the first time. It’s breathtaking and spectacular, fundamentally shifting life as I know it. She’s my kaleidoscope in a world of gray.

Something else lurks behind his eyes. I can’t figure it out no matter how long I stare at him. It seems like I was all wrong earlier, mistaking his silence as indifference. Rather, it turns out it was something much more dangerous. Scheming.

I do my best to pretend I’m not rattled after the shocking call with my mom. Santiago looks at me a couple of times for a few seconds longer than I’d like, but he doesn’t ask me if anything is wrong.

“Lonely. Without you and Marko, the thought of being on my own again is awful. Absolutely unbearable. It’s like I had a gaping hole in my chest that only started being filled over the last few weeks.” Her bottom lip juts out. “Oh, Santiago.” I step up to her, grabbing the handle of her luggage and pushing it in the opposite direction. “And most of all, you make the bad days better. I want more of that. If you go, I’m afraid I’ll go back to the way things were.”

I don’t mind losing the bet. As long as Chloe stays by my side, I can attempt the simulation afterward. Honestly, playing with her wasn’t about avoiding what I came in here to do. I just wanted to spend time together since she was gone the whole morning, and it seemed like a good idea.

Chloe’s hand covers mine. “I just want you to know I’m really freaking proud of you right now.” A blush creeps into my cheeks. “It’s just a game.” “It’s more than that.” “How so?” “This is your redemption.”

Now, she has my attention. “Tell me more.” “The whole reason I am obsessed with eighties movies in the first place is because my foster mom only had a VHS system—no cable TV.” Well, this is a depressing start to her story.

“I didn’t want to disappoint you. I was afraid I’d chicken out and doing so would be a hell of a lot easier without you there.” “Because I wouldn’t hold you accountable.” He shakes his head, stepping back into my personal bubble. “Because making you unhappy is the last thing I want.”

“I want to make you proud of me.”

“Been saving that for when you get lucky?” I smirk. “I’ve been lucky ever since you stumbled into my life. This is an added bonus.” He smiles. It’s devilish, with a hint of something else in his eyes.

space. She offers me a meek smile through the mirror. “Wow. That’s how you look when you’re all dolled up.” She bites her lip. The way she says it has me throwing my head back and laughing.

“Do I at least get a kiss for good luck?” She looks up at the ceiling as if she needs to contemplate it. I grab onto her hips and pull her flush against my body. My hand grips onto the back of her neck while my lips crush hers. Our kiss is a frenzy. Quick, energetic, and everything I needed to calm me down before getting out there.

He cracks a smile. “Don’t let the opportunity slip away. You’ll end up regretting it, and that’s not your style.” “Since when did you get all enlightened and stuff?” “Since you came into my life.”

His thumb wipes away one of my tears. “I love you, Chloe. And it’s okay if you don’t know what it means to be loved by someone, let alone love someone else because I promise to love you enough for the two of us. To love you every day to make up for everyone else who failed miserably.” He really does love me. Deeply. Madly. Unconditionally.