Wrecked (Dirty Air, #3)

by Lauren Asher

To my anxious people out there—this one’s for you. Don’t let your worries win.

💚

Me—a Formula 1 driver and arsehole extraordinaire—suffers from clinical anxiety.

they just like us fr

“We want you to work solely with Jax Kingston. The job would include keeping an eye on him and helping positively boost his presence in the media.”

for $100k??? sign me tf up

Not all heroes wear capes. Turns out some rock badass tattoos and a McCoy race suit.

I somehow withhold a groan as my head lifts from the back of the chair. “Elena, fancy seeing you here.” “Jax, can’t say I’m sorry to be back.” She takes a seat across from me and puts her small hand out.

i love them already

I frown, hating the way one touch from her throws me off.

“Long time no see. Vacation over in hell?” “Lucifer asked for you to stop by sometime soon. Says he’s got a special place ready for you.”

*giggles*

Not only do I have to hang out with this vixen but now I have to live with her? Bloody hell.

*ron weasley voice* BLOODY ELL

While I struggle with hidden jadedness and pessimism, she radiates hopefulness and warmth.

Google, how does one say I’m fucked in Spanish?

estás jodido, güey

While my friends are fit for an ending straight out of the latest cheesy rom-com, I’m better suited for the Game of Thrones’ Night’s Watch—isolated until the day I die.

“You couldn’t be boring if you tried.” “Careful now. You’re going to make me think you’re flirting with me.” Specks of gold and green swirl around his eyes. “Flirting with you means I have to like you first. And well, that’s a no from me, burro.” “Liar, liar, Elena’s cheeks are on fire.”

THEIR BANTER AAAAA

Jax met his match. I’m not one to back down from a challenge, especially with my future on the line. He might be a beast on the track, but I can hold my own in the PR scene.

“I like your form of bluntness. Vicious words from seductive lips, my favorite kind of torture.”

Sorry, Jax, I’m not an option because I’m too busy being your solution.

Some people have defense mechanisms while I have weapons of mass destruction. And like a detonated bomb, I can’t take them back.

Basically, living with Elena is like treading water by myself in the middle of an ocean—deadly, useless, and one wrong move away from going under.

I’m on a lonely path of destructiveness with no end in sight. Turns out misery loves company, and I found her in a bottle of Jack and a refill of Xans.

“Oh, I was about to go check if you were still alive. What a shame. I almost thought you suffocated in your sleep, but I realize I’m not that fortunate.”

PFFFT

I’m not into the grumpy guy is mean to the girl he really likes plot. It’s a bit overused and dated for my taste.”

HEHEHEHEHE

Fuck me sideways with a ten-inch dildo please because I’m actually enjoying Elena’s company.

???????

I hate her for barreling into my life and showing me what it’s like to want something different for once.

I want to know more about him, and I’m not sure if I have enough control to hold myself back from trying.

None of us knows the price we’re willing to pay to be someone’s redemption.

I want to change because someone who has every reason to walk away refuses to leave my side. And this is how I come to the realization that I need to save myself.

“The rain makes me feel alive because it reminds me that life’s a cycle. Water falls from above to be sucked back up again by the clouds eventually—round and round. I love the storm clouds before the first drops fall. Love how the rain feels against my skin, and I love the way it smells. It’s so weird, but my favorite days are the gloomiest. And it teaches us how even the ugliest storms can lead to a rainbow at the end.”

“You’re the biggest ‘fuck you’ from fate. But it’s not because I dislike you. It’s because I’m terrified of what would happen if I stopped trying to avoid you.”

Jax Kingston stole a piece of my heart, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get it back. And worse, I don’t know if I want it.

“I wish I hated you. But instead, you’re making me like you more. You pretend to be this put-together person, but you’re broken—damaged like me. And the absolute fucking worst is that I want to know your messed-up parts too. I want to put them together with mine and see what we create. So, I don’t know whether to run in the opposite direction or beg you for a chance despite how much of an arse I’ve been,” he whispers.

Our kiss is erotic and toxic, with a hint of chaos.

If we let the nightmares define us, then we lose sight of our dreams.

Too bad everyone knows Jax Kingston has a crush on me except for the man himself.

I thought I’d be the one to figure him out. It looks like during my mission, I lost sight of his power over me. I gave someone who destroys everything in his life something I can’t take back. The possibility of earning my love.

“What’s your secret to staying upbeat?” “Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so I might as well make today my bitch.”

I don’t want to fall in love, but damn if her smile doesn’t make the crash landing worth it.

Her smile snatches away my oxygen. I want to steal her for myself while owning her lips, her smiles, and everything in between.

“I don’t want someone to care about me because of my life story.” I attempt to pull away from him, but he holds on. “It’s not because of your story. It’s because of who you are despite that story.”

“I like you more and more by the day. You might be my dream girl, Gonzalez.”

The pawn doesn’t become a queen through sheer luck. It takes grit, work, and confidence. And I’m so damn ready to make my way across the board.

“I don’t think anyone ever truly moves on. You can heal, sure, but letting go insinuates you don’t want to remember anymore. And the memories aren’t the problem. The mistake people make in life is that they assume pain is bad. But really, pain means you feel something. It means you’re alive. It’s about using it as a weapon rather than a weakness. So, heal yourself, but don’t let go of the memories. They’re what make you so very you.”

“Fuck the usual. I don’t want to be picture-perfect with you. I want to be a fucking mosaic, made up of broken pieces so damn colorful, you can’t help finding them beautiful.”

this is beautiful

“Elena Gonzalez—” kiss “—will you do me the honor—” his tongue traces the seam of my lips, making me shiver despite the summer heat “—of being my girlfriend? Officially.” His teeth scrape my bottom lip before his tongue darts out apologetically, soothing the sore area. “Yes,” I offer breathlessly.

Elena brings out the hopeless romantic in me that can’t help wanting to make her smile again.

“You know, people would be surprised to know what a soft teddy bear you are underneath all those tattoos, muscles, and grumbly words.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had someone take care of me like this. Not since Abuela—” “I know. And I want to be the one to take care of you for a bit—if you don’t mind, that is.” He smiles sheepishly.

“Jax?” “Mm.” His chest rumbles beneath me. “I think I’m falling in love with you.” The words leave my lips in the faintest whisper. He keeps quiet for a solid minute. I second-guess myself, but he squeezes me tighter into him. “Elena?” “Mm.” I copy him. “I already know I am.”

AAAAAA

Love is dangerous and lethal. It’s about sacrifices and a willingness to protect the people you care for at all costs.

I can’t save someone intent on drowning themselves in alcohol, self-loathing, and self-pity. Especially not when he’s desperate to push everyone away at the expense of his own depression and anxiety. And most importantly, I don’t want to. I deserve better than that. Fuck. I deserve better than him.

KNOW YOUR WORTH GIRLY

Silence isn’t for the faint of heart. That’s where the demons come out and play.

‘The sun might seem as if it stops shining from time to time because of a cloud or a rainstorm or the nighttime, but it’s still there. It endures everything to nurture the lives that depend on it. You’re my sun. I don’t care if you’re hidden because of a storm or the end of the fucking world. I can’t live without you,

😭😭😭