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“The rain makes me feel alive because it reminds me that
life’s a cycle. Water falls from above to be sucked back up again by the clouds eventually—round and round. I love the storm clouds before the first drops fall. Love how the rain feels against my skin, and I love the way it smells. It’s so weird, but my favorite days are the gloomiest. And it teaches us how even the ugliest storms can lead to a rainbow at the end.”
“Thanks. But I don’t exactly hate my life because I’m meeting you after all. Cancer can suck my pale arse.”
shoot him a small smile. “What’s your secret to staying upbeat?” “Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so I might as well make today my bitch.”
“Because I didn’t want you there, obviously. I wasn’t in the mood for your disappointment and judgment.”
“No. Not at all. I’ve got a lot of shit going on, and I needed a night without you. I wanted a night of sleep without you waking up and screaming.”
“I don’t want to be around you anymore.
Things are changing too fast, and I can’t keep up with you and the demands of the season. I’m sorry for how things are ending between us.”
“I don’t want your apologies. I want to be with someone stronger than the f...
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“That’s rich coming from the person who is afraid of the fucking dark.”
“I get that I’m too fucked up to handle someone as equally fucked up. Everything happening right now in my life proves how I can’t be that kind of hero for you. And I don’t need to date someone plagued with nightmares and bad memories or who ruins my mom’s birthday because they can’t even handle watching a movie meant for teenagers. I might be a mess, but you’re the same. You only hide it better. Go home and fix yourself. Heal. Find someone who is better for you than me.” His
“The only person who is wrong here is you. Enjoy your life, Jax. I hope it’s a long one so you can stew in your
“And I might be afraid of the dark, but maybe it’s for a good reason, seeing as there’s monsters like you out there.”
about it all.” Her voice becomes somber as she stares at me with tears reflecting off her eyes. “What do you mean?” my voice croaks. “I know you didn’t get the news you wanted. I know you said every terrible thing to get me to run away. That you somehow got Connor to pay my entire year salary despite being fired and that Bandini hired me because of your connection. You tried your best to make sure I was okay without you, even though I most definitely wasn’t. You don’t need to pretend anymore that you’re okay. I don’t want you to. I want the good and the bad and everything in between with you.”
“I should walk away. Permanently.” She scoffs. “I’d like to see you try. I don’t care about any of it. Nothing about your diagnosis scares me. You could start having symptoms tomorrow, and I’d want to be there for you every single day after. I’ve been through drastic losses in my life, and the last thing I want is to lose the person I love because he would rather be alone than with me.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking for.” “Who said anything about asking? I’m taking our future into my own hands.” “What about kids?” “What about them? There are other ways to have children. Sperm donors, adoption—the options are endless. I don’t care about the details as long as I can have you.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way. Live a messy life with me, Jax Kingston. I want chaos. I want darkness. I want sunshine and rainstorms with you. But most of all, I want you any way I can have you because I love you.”
