Throttled (Dirty Air, #1)

by Lauren Asher

“You can’t call dibs on people. You sound like a B-list rom-com.” “But I fuck like an A-list porno.”

“If it were another life, I’d probably do right by you. I’d take you on dates and try harder. But that’s not who I am or how I was raised. I don’t know how to be the kind of emotional guy you desire.”

“They’ll never be as good as what we could have. But this is why people like you never have happily-ever-afters. You’re so jaded, you can’t see the best things until it’s too late.”

“I think love is about happiness and sacrifice. Compromising instead of arguing. Having someone who is always there for you even when you don’t deserve it. Loving someone means you want to spend the rest of your life with them, on the good days and the bad days and everything in between.”

“Fear is not always a weakness. It’s what you do with the fear that shows your true strength. What exactly are you afraid of?” This man and his board of inspirational quotes.

I lift her chin up, craving eye contact. “I mean it when I say I spent a lot of time alone. I reflected on what was stopping me from trying this out with you. Our chemistry is”—her lips capture my attention—“explosive. But I also know there’s more. I like being around you, especially when you give me all your attention. I like when you film me without asking because you’re afraid of me saying no, even though you can get me to agree to anything. I love the way you laugh almost as much as the way you find your shoes interesting when you get nervous. I really like the special noises you save just for me when I kiss you and the smiles you give me when no one is looking. I’m serious about trying it all with you. No holding back. I even met with someone to talk about my own issues and reservations, because when I do something, I go all in.” Clearly came down with a severe case of word vomit.

“I was terrified. I’m glad you’re okay,” I mumble into his chest. “I’ll always be okay and come back to you. Those cars are built for a bomb. I love you.” He squeezes me as he whispers the words in my ear.

“I didn’t fuck around with her. I love her. I’ll keep loving her through everything, no matter what you or anyone else says or whatever you try to do to break us up. It’s insulting for you to even think I’d be with Maya to fuck around with your racing. She’s the endgame. I don’t hook up with her for a shitty trophy, and sure as fuck not for a championship win. I want everything with her. Everything after this.”

“Don’t take this out on her. Please,” my voice croaks, “blame me.” I don’t mind begging if it saves Maya from her heart smashing all over the Bandini suite floor. The most honest moment of my life. “Seriously, all this drama for a stupid cunt?”

“Santi, I’m sorry for lying to you and keeping my relationship with Noah a secret. I…I love him. And I don’t want to hide it anymore, like something shameful because it’s nothing close to that. I need to grow up, and you need to let me. Mistakes included. Not that I think this is one, but no matter what happens, I can’t live my life worrying about disappointing you, Mami and Papi, or even myself. I love you, but I need to take a chance on my relationship, and you have to accept it.”