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Slaps became punches that upgraded into verbal lashings once I reached his height. My dad stripped away my childhood at the expense of my humanity.
She shivers when my thumb runs across her palm, her soft skin smooth under my calloused digit. Hmm. Her body reacts to mine in the same way.
Maya shakes her head, apparently not a fan of my response. The idea displeases me. My eyebrows pinch together, and my lips turn down into a frown.
I look up into Noah’s eyes and immediately regret it. His shade of blue easily becomes my favorite, reminding me of Barcelona’s coastal waters.
See, in a press meeting, all the emotions hang around like unwanted groupies.
Her smile beams at me once I catch her attention, filling my chest with a kind of warmth I don’t recognize often.
What a sick joke on me where I crave attention from the one girl I want but can’t have. And even worse, she remains oblivious. I want to spend more time around her and suck up her happiness like the goddamn black hole I am.
Her nervousness comes back in full force, guilt tugging at the few heartstrings I have left. I can’t help being an asshole.
“Bye,” I grumble, hating how her departure makes me feel… Lonely.
She smiles up at me. Damn, my chest tightens at her smile, proof of how much of a sucker I am for them lately.
But at this moment, her smile draws me to her. I want to keep them all to myself and bottle them up for the bad days. Don’t get me started on her laughs.
Lucky for us, bruises aren’t visible when you wear race suits daily. Not a single scar was left on my skin except for the mangled remains of my heart, a mistrusting organ ruined by the man before me. A cliché of the worst kind.
During the party, it hits me how much trouble I’m in. A cardinal sin has been broken. I think I like Noah Slade.
“What are the chances of dying of a heart attack at twenty-three? Seriously, you’re googling this? I didn’t know I had such an effect on you. You flatter me.”
“If it were another life, I’d probably do right by you. I’d take you on dates and try harder. But that’s not who I am or how I was raised. I don’t know how to be the kind of emotional guy you desire.”
“They’ll never be as good as what we could have. But this is why people like you never have happily-ever-afters. You’re so jaded, you can’t see the best things until it’s too late.”
I spend a good portion of the break working out kinks in my car and strategizing with the team for the second half of the championship season. But I also spend time going to therapy.
GOOD
“I think love is about happiness and sacrifice. Compromising instead of arguing. Having someone who is always there for you even when you don’t deserve it. Loving someone means you want to spend the rest of your life with them, on the good days and the bad days and everything in between.”
“Fear is not always a weakness. It’s what you do with the fear that shows your true strength.
The idea of a future with Maya makes me edgy with anticipation. The good kind. The best kind. The kind of high I want to chase for the rest of my life with her.
