Wrath of the Triple Goddess

by Rick Riordan

Also, I’d missed my entire junior year thanks to some business we won’t get into (Hera) on account of some meddling gods (Hera) for reasons of a cosmic apocalypse (Hera).

You’re probably thinking, Percy, you’ve been dealing with the Greek gods for years. How could you not know her?

It’s never Hi, I’m Zeus. It’s always I am the Thunder-Maker, the Paranoid Patriarch, Heavenly Adulterer, Lightning Britches, King of Luxurious Beard Products.

You may bring those friends of yours…Anna and Groverbeth.” Close enough, I thought.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever had this experience—when you see someone you know from a distance, and for a split second you don’t recognize them. Your brain just registers, Oh, that person looks amazing. Then you realize it’s someone you’ve known for years—your girlfriend, in fact—and that sends a tingle of happiness through your whole body.

“Now my arachnophobic girlfriend is talking about buying cobwebs. Who are you?”

I’d barely been able to master numbers and colors in Spanish, even with my friend Leo Valdez as a tutor.

“I don’t limit access to books, Percy Jackson. I’m not a monster.

Annabeth often told me I would make a great dad, because I already had the right jokes—stupid, corny, and stupid.

Twenty minutes passed. For an ADHD guy like me, that translated into about forty Percy hours.

“M-Mr. Brunner?” I stammered. I hadn’t called him Mr. Brunner since I was twelve years old, but old habits die hard. Seeing him back behind a teacher’s desk after all these years…

So many problems, so little time.” “That’s kind of my life story,”

My sword was better at slashy-slashy than stabby-stabby, and I did not want to slashy-slashy Annabeth. That would make her mad.

Ah, yes, waterskiing behind a hellhound through a nightmare landscape while holding a pee-prone puppy…Or, as we call it in the demigod business, just another Wednesday night.

It’s not perfect, but it’s still love.”

But since I’m ADHD, the first question out of my mouth was “What’s the deal with the rat? You had, like, a million squirrels and one rat.”

“Don’t do that,” I said, gently as I could. “Don’t brush it away.” “The tear?” “No, dude, the importance of what you’re telling me.

“She might kill you a little,” I agreed. “But in a loving, caring way. And she’ll tell you the same thing I did. Nothing is worth losing you.

She snarled, “You shall not pass!” “Wait, I know that line,” I said. “It’s from the wizard guy in Lord of the Rings.”

My first instinct was to put myself between Grover and danger. Grover’s first instinct was to put himself between me and the same danger. We ended up running into each other and both being directly in the splash zone.

“No!” Grover yelped. “No, that’s not good at all! Who would pay a thousand golden drachmas for that?” He gestured at me. I tried not to be offended. I assumed he was talking about my condition, not me as a person.

Usually, you don’t drool when you’re awake.”

I remembered the way she looked in her elegant dress, with her coiffed hair and perfect makeup. I’d been a guinea pig at the time, but my little guinea-pig jaw had hit the floor of the cage.

Yelling Whatever! at my girlfriend and throwing a potion at her are two great ways to make me angry. And when I get angry, liquids explode.

Did she think I was dumb? Had I ever given her reason to—You know what? Forget I asked that.

Who had designed this system, anyway? When do you get to chill on the beach and stop working? And don’t tell me sixty-seven unless you want to see a demigod cry.

I solemnly swear—death before strawberries.

The first thing that came to my mind was, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."⚡️🧹

Fortunately, there was Annabeth. (That sentence describes a lot of my life, actually.)

Annabeth muttered, “Why aren’t they going away?” (That sentence also describes a lot of my life.)

“Hey, Wise Girl,” I said, trying to keep the panic out of my voice, “be wise. I don’t know much, but I do know we’re stronger together. Always.”