Wrath of the Triple Goddess

by Rick Riordan

Also, I’d missed my entire junior year thanks to some business we won’t get into (Hera) on account of some meddling gods (Hera) for reasons of a cosmic apocalypse (Hera).

You’re probably thinking, Percy, you’ve been dealing with the Greek gods for years. How could you not know her?

It’s never Hi, I’m Zeus. It’s always I am the Thunder-Maker, the Paranoid Patriarch, Heavenly Adulterer, Lightning Britches, King of Luxurious Beard Products.

Greek Myth Land is full of triple goddesses: The Fates. The Gray Sisters. The Furies. Destiny’s Child.

A day of waterskiing with Hermes.

Aw man he could have met lin manuel miranda

You may bring those friends of yours…Anna and Groverbeth.”

Maybe that sounds self-centered, but the idea of anybody writing a book about me makes me super paranoid.

(Side effects can include panic attacks, mass hysteria, and psychological misdiagnoses. Ask your doctor if Iris-messages are right for you.)

I’m not sure if you’ve ever had this experience—when you see someone you know from a distance, and for a split second you don’t recognize them. Your brain just registers, Oh, that person looks amazing. Then you realize it’s someone you’ve known for years—your girlfriend, in fact—and that sends a tingle of happiness through your whole body.

“Now my arachnophobic girlfriend is talking about buying cobwebs. Who are you?”

I’d barely been able to master numbers and colors in Spanish, even with my friend Leo Valdez as a tutor.

She feeds us six times a day, said the one who thought of himself as Larry. “Only feed them once a day,” Hecate said. We get twenty fish each, said another eel, Fortunato. “One fish each,” Hecate instructed.

“I don’t limit access to books, Percy Jackson. I’m not a monster.

“She loves it,” Hecate insisted, then turned to her hellhound. “Don’t you, pwetty girl?” Hecuba’s big bloodshot eyes seemed to send the message I hate my life.

Annabeth often told me I would make a great dad, because I already had the right jokes—stupid, corny, and stupid.

You don’t see fresh air on a lot of Tripadvisor reviews for Manhattan, but I appreciated Grover’s enthusiasm.

That’s the weird thing about pets, I guess. Even when they’re a total pain, they still manage to burrow their way into your heart.

This one was Celestial bronze and engraved with LEO+PERCY 4EVER ♥, because Leo is a doofus.

I imagined the centaur rolling up to Advanced Dressmaking with a sparkly tie, rhinestone glasses, and sequins on his wheel rims. He could have totally pulled it off.

My sword was better at slashy-slashy than stabby-stabby, and I did not want to slashy-slashy Annabeth. That would make her mad.

Is brendon still the vocalist here

I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college.” He sniffled. “Well…you should stress about college a little.” “Thanks, man.” “Because I’ve seen your GPA.”

I don’t know how mythological villains can afford so much square footage in Manhattan. Like, they always seem to have these massive multilevel lairs with plenty of space for torture chambers and luxurious dens to recline in and plot their nefarious deeds or whatever. Do their landlords take golden drachmas? On the other hand, the air rights over the Empire State Building must’ve cost the gods of Mount Olympus several gazillion, so I guess I shouldn’t question it.

Who had designed this system, anyway? When do you get to chill on the beach and stop working? And don’t tell me sixty-seven unless you want to see a demigod cry.

Sometimes I’d felt like the world was spinning too fast. I couldn’t process all the sounds and lights.

Overstimulation at its finest

“What was I thinking? A magic school! Can you imagine such a thing?”

I am all for hogwarts slander

There might not be any I in team, but there was definitely an A for Annabeth and…three other letters that didn’t really stand for anything, so let’s forget I said that.

In small amounts, ambrosia and nectar did wonders for demigods. In larger amounts, they could make you spontaneously combust, which didn’t fit in with my healthy lifestyle.

Clovis from the Morpheus cabin, wearing a nightgown, nightcap, and slippers,

"how pookie finds ms at 9 pm"

I don’t know much, but I do know we’re stronger together. Always.”

“Coco Chanel, obviously! Scariest problematic fashion icon ever. Boo!”

Especially with all the racism

The lion’s head wore a cheap mask of some old politician’s face.…Give me a second. Richard Nixon. That’s the guy.

To Whom It May Concern: I recommend Percy Jackson for things. Sincerely, Hecate, the Goddess of Three Forms, Lady of Witchcraft, Queen of the Darkness, Keeper of Mysteries, Ultimate Power over Ghosts and Spirits, Almighty Sovereign of the Shadows

My job was ocean, not saving Nereids from their own puddles.

Like ken's job is "beach"

I was way too old and cool to be affected by a compliment from my mom. I didn’t blush or fidget or anything. I tried to say something, but I had a lump in my throat. Probably just a piece of cookie.