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And the time he’d gotten a ball caught between the slats of a sun lounger while he was having sex on it, which was, he firmly believed, the reason for his lopsided nutsack.
Holt possessed the energy of a man with a gilded ass. He already had the gilded ballsack.
I snuffled a little laugh. I was pretty sure Holt just wanted to rub his balls against everything.
“Y-you keep a Fleshlight in your office?” I asked breathlessly, my dick throbbing at the sight of it. Holt snorted. “Of course I do. I’m in here for hours basically every day. And I had that dick-themed colouring book, remember?”
“I think my nuts disappeared back up inside me from coming so hard. What if they don’t come back down?” I snorted, walking back around to kneel in front of him, smoothing my hands up his thighs. “Bet you’re hoping the left one will drop back down first to even them up a bit.”
“I know you’re joking, but I genuinely hope so.”
“Okay, so, they have these redonkulously long dicks that come out of them, right? Like, seriously, I’m pretty sure they don’t have organs, they just have these dicks coiled up inside them until they unleash ’em. And their dicks have these weird tentacle things at the end, and what they do is, they line ’em up so the tentacles latch onto each other, so they’ve basically made, like, a limbo stick, right? Then they run sideways at the same time to swipe their opponent’s legs out from under them.”
“Well yeah, because no one knows what the fuck they are.” Larkin cocked his head and squinted in thought. “Maybe… some kind of goblin? Like a dick goblin? That’s just made of a giant dick?” “You mean like what’s inside your skull?” Holt drawled. “Because there’s no brain in there. Just a big quivering dick where your brain should be.”
Well, it seemed like they’d actually extended several offers for Larkin to join them, but he’d flushed and pulled back when Gabe propositioned him while I was meeting the wrestlers, which was interesting.
“Ugh, you two are, like, cute in a gross way.”
“Walked past their dressing room yesterday and heard them in there saying, ‘That’s right, baby, fly toward that lightbulb. Fuuuuck, you’re a dirty little bogong moth, aren’t you?’ I mean, I guess they could’ve been talking about an actual moth in the room, but still. Kinda hot in a weird way, I guess?”
You must have a magic dick, bro. Or bussy.” I choked on a breath. “Larkin, that’s… like, really inappropriate.” “It’s a compliment!”
“I’d be proud as fuck if someone said I had a magic bussy. Or whatever the fae version is. A fussy? Fabussy? Hi, Seb.”
“Holt’s the guy who makes all this possible. He’s the owner and manager of Goliaths. Holt Hector. And he’s watching the show tonight from his private viewing box, where he’s definitely not having sex. Up there. Yeah, yeah, there. Everyone look. Let’s show the boss some appreciation, huh?”
“When he finally gets a boyfriend or girlfriend, I’m going to make his life fucking miserable.”
As Corey made his grand entrance, popping his giant pecs to make his nipple tassels spin, I spotted Larkin standing back at the windows in the backstage area, pointing at Corey as he spoke to a panting Cora in his arms.
Once the three of them started fighting—Biff and Gabe launching themselves at Corey in a coordinated attack—Larkin covered Cora’s eyes and moved away from the windows.
“That’s sick, Val. You know what happened last time I fell asleep in here and they ran off with my head.” “They did karate on it,” Holt murmured to me quietly. “And cut his hair. He woke up with a bob, a black eye and a big dick drawn on his forehead. Val,” he added in a louder voice. “Please don’t threaten your colleagues with Frank and Beans.”
I’d been wrong on the placement—I’d thought it’d be over his bed—but I’d called it. There was a big neon sign on the wall directly opposite that simply said, Holt.
“You have a bad back!” He waved a hand dismissively. “An orgasm will help.”
fact, I wasn’t entirely convinced that they knew it was all staged and rehearsed. They seemed to genuinely believe they were fighting Corey for real and had a chance of winning.
I sucked in a breath so fast I almost choked. Oh my god. Oh my god. I’d been right. This had to mean I was right, didn’t it? Lizard Granny Mafia was real. And their boss, Big E, was offering to have her “girls” pay Marcus a visit for slighting me.
“I want you to iron all your underpants in front of me,”
“In just your socks and sneakers.” As I gawped at him in disbelief, he tacked on, “With a plug up your ass.”
Tim from HR loudly informing us all that he was now weighing his carton of almond milk every morning after using it in his coffee. He’d brought in digital scales especially.
What if what we’d been nurturing together over the last few weeks wasn’t enough? For the first time in a while, ugly and bitter thoughts swamped me. I hadn’t been enough for Marcus. I didn’t care about him now, but some things stayed with you. Some moments in life scarred you, even once the people who had inflicted those scars became meaningless and unimportant.
“Taylor the human knows how to party.”
We’d got as far as stripping down, tumbling into bed, and smearing frosting over Holt’s dick before the two of us had passed out cold.
“Did Larkin and Seb not come out with us?” I asked curiously as I finally grabbed a cup of coffee for myself and gulped it down. Biff cocked his head, thick fingers trailing absently through Gabe’s hair as the incubus curled up on his lap, nursing his coffee. “They were with us when we got to the bar, but I don’t remember seeing them in there.” Hmmm, that was very interesting.
I decided my first official task as Goliaths’ marketing manager would be secretly trying to figure out what was going on between the fae and the werewolf. Not that it was any of my business, but… I was still gonna.
Biff grunted, clutching the incubus closer to his chest in a possessive gesture as he muttered, “Lopsided nuts, though.”
“I’ve already bought another Fleshlight for your office.”
“Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.”
He said, ‘Just finished putting up the decal in the HutSec break room like you asked. I’ll invoice you for the rush job. You’re a weird fucker, Holt.’”
Oh my god. Please tell me this was the worst thing we did.
“I’ll get you a welcome basket for your first day,” he murmured, lips curling slyly against my skin. “If I’m being honest, it’ll mostly be sex stuff. But I’ll throw in a stapler too. And a grapefruit or something.”
Five minutes later, Seb casually got out of the hot tub, dried off, and slipped inside as well.
appropriately extra.
