Programmed for Love

by Lyonne Riley

Nobody will ever know me like he does, it’s true. It’s just math.

I want to tell him what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, but I don’t want to ruin this. He can’t reciprocate. But maybe that’s just the life I’ve found myself in—hopelessly in love with someone who can never love me back but does his best to try.

Are you fucking the ship android, Talbot?” “No, we were just playing doctor,” I say. “Dumbass.”

He sees how much I love him. He has known for a long time. He takes a step towards me and leans down to my ear. “Love is not what I thought it would be,” he whispers. “So I simply did not recognize it. I am sorry for that. I am sorry it took me so long to understand.”

He didn’t know what loving someone meant until he loved me.

“I’ve been inside you, but I never thought you’d be inside me,” he says.

“I thought love would be some sudden strike of realization, like a bullet. But it’s not. It builds and grows, until you cannot imagine living without the person you love at your side.” D sits up just slightly, propping himself against the wall, and pulls me towards him with his other arm. “I never want to be without you, Lela. I don’t think I could stand it. If that is not love, I don’t know what would be.”

“I love you, Lela Talbot,” he says. Every part of my body and mind is warm and sated. “I love you too, D-084.”