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I’d always imagined horses being more approachable. That thing was a tank.
Someone snorted, and I wasn’t sure if it came from the cowboy or the horse.
I pointed to the ground. “If it makes you feel any better, he stepped in a fire ant colony before he hopped back in the car. That’s some long-term karma. They’ll be up his britches and in his drawers before he makes it to the front gate.”
I offered a handshake to the older one. She stared at me like I was insane, then gave me a sideways high-five.
Gracie didn’t flinch. “No, but my therapist says that it’s better to say how we feel so we can deal with it and move on rather than letting it soup.” “Rather than letting it stew,” Bree corrected from across the room. Gracie shrugged and skipped away, blissfully unbothered. “I like soup better. Chicken noodle is my favorite.”
“Just fi—” And because I knew that child would correct me if I said “fine,” I said, “It went smoothly.”
“That child” is way funnier than it should be
Bree blinked at Cassandra like she was staring at an angel and couldn’t believe her eyes. Gracie reached for another dinner roll. “That’s cool. I want to be a marine biologist when I grow up.”
I woke to the sound of children. It was awful.
One arm darted out and pointed to the corner. “Why is the cow in here?” Mickey was resting peacefully on top of Sadie’s dog bed. The edge was the only thing that peeked out from under his mass. I shrugged. “He goes where he wants.”
“You do know the difference between people and animals, right? You eat animals.” I choked on a laugh. “You can eat people, too. Particularly women. Or did your fiancé not do that for you, Princess?”
I- well that came out of nowhere
“Yeah, this isn’t 1812. If you could stop speaking in spooky cowboy proverbs, that would be great.”
The woman stuck out like a sore thumb, but part of me—a deeply repressed part of me—really fucking liked it.
“Sometimes it’s hard to turn off. I’ll either be swearing in front of the girls or I’ll be telling the guys I gotta go potty.”
my kids think you’re a Barbie doll come to life.”
“Get out of here, Mickey,” she hollered. I smirked as I threw my arm around her shoulders and steered her inside. Cassandra would do just fine here. She just didn’t know it yet.
“Sometimes,” Gracie said without a care in the world. “But sometimes the cows are artificially incinerated.” “Inseminated,” I corrected.
“The internet’s faster over there,” she said. “Yes, however, there are children. I cannot work in the presence of mayhem.”
“Tripp is the worst. If I could hit him with a dump truck, I would.”
He nodded as he walked behind me and braced his hands on the desk, trapping me between them as he reached for the desktop computer mouse. “Sit tight. I just have to print something off.”
“Do you know who Lillian Monroe is?” “Sounds vaguely familiar.” “She’s an actress.” “Can’t remember the last time I watched a movie.”
“I know you like to lean into the whole grizzled cowboy thing, but please go take a shower before the paint starts peeling off the walls. You smell like cows.”
If horses had resting bitch face, his did and it was aimed at me.
“I don’t know how to park a horse,”
HA
“Cassandra?” My breath caught at hearing him use my full name. “Yes?” “Get that goddamn ring out of my house.”
HEHEHEHEHE
“Keep telling yourself that, Princess.” Cassandra relaxed. “It’s ‘my queen.’” I laughed. “Sweetheart, there’s only one situation where I’ll call you that and, I promise you, this ain’t it.”
😍🫣🤠
“Just because I don’t sugarcoat things doesn’t mean I’m a heartless bitch. I’m only a bitch for good causes,” she said, her words on tempo with the tip tap of her shoes. “I’m a vigilante bitch.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell at you.” She laughed. “If you think that’s yelling, then I hope you never have to see me order from a deli. I’ll scare the shit out of you.”
“Are you flirting with me?” “Yes. That should be obvious. Now shut up and let me do the talking.”
“Because according to the dress code, blouse necklines are to be no lower than three inches below the lowest point of the clavicle. Now, I’m more familiar with things that are bigger than three inches, but I can see how you may be more in tune to things of that size.”
GET HER ASS
“You know how boys can be at this age.” I glanced at Cassandra, expecting to see her about to go nuclear, but she was smiling. That was way worse.
“We’ll debrief when you get home,”
my queen
Howdy, cowboy
“I’m not a cuddler,” I huffed as I turned in his arms and rested my temple against his soft chest. Christian was ridiculously sexy. His body was comforting. It was a safe place I could get lost in. He buried his nose in my hair and inhaled deeply. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
“It wasn’t practical to keep asking my mom to help me with the girls’ hair. I grew mine out so I could practice on myself and learn how to take care of it so I could teach them. I’ve gone to work with braids, curls, rollers—you name it.”
The line tik tok is adverising... It got me
Cassandra lifted an eyebrow and popped the lid on the paper cup to peer inside before giving it a sniff. “Okay, be serious. I know I give you shit about being a mind reader, but how do you know the kind of latte I drink?” I leaned in and let my beard tickle her ear as I whispered, “All I had to do was walk inside and ask if a loud New Yorker had been in lately. And then I asked them to give me whatever she ordered.”
And when had Sadie stopped trying to herd me?
He chuckled. “No, ma’am.” “You’re supposed to say, ‘no, my queen,’ Gracie whispered. “Yeah, I’ll leave that to your dad,” he said with a twinkle of amusement
RAY
My kids think you’re the greatest thing to walk the fucking earth. Frankly, so do I.
I like watching you try to ride a horse. You suck at it, by the way.
“He convinced you to stay.” “No, his momma did,”
Claire said “hey girl, you just like me except 40 years ago”
“But…” Bree’s eyebrows drew in. “You like each other. And you look at her like you used to look at Mom.” Fuck. Me.
Fuck me too
In a few years, Bree will be driving even though that makes me physically ill.
“I used to have abs,” he said sheepishly. “It’s been a long ten years. Sorry you missed ’em.”
I glared at Christian. “You said they’d never know.” He shrugged. “They do now. But you know what?” “Hmm?” Christian tightened his arms around me. “The world didn’t end.”
“Has anyone told you that you worry too much?” I pecked her lips. “Yeah, I pay a therapist to tell me that once a month. What’s your point?”
“Thank you for being patient with me.” My hair hung around us as I pressed a kiss to her lips. “I love you too.”
He gets it
Ray’s sharp eyes landed on me. “You ever watched bull riding before?” “This will be a first.” He grinned. “You’re gonna hate it.”
“They have a pet cow that lives in my office and eats my ice cream, and they want to see more cows?”
His black and blue abdomen was streaked by patches of skin colored in by washable markers.
stop. absolutely stop and never continue (please continue)
But there’s another quality that is imperative to success: being a stubborn asshole who refuses to fail. That was my favorite thing about myself.
