The first day we were together, I lost my faith. I realized, alone with you, trembling, that I went my whole life thinking god had mandated that I was forbidden to be alone with you. When I kissed you, then I knew. There was no god who made such a mandate. A person decided it and I let myself believe—we all let ourselves believe—that it was god. Your husband let himself believe that above all god wants marriages that last, and so he devised complicated justifications for desire. He let it destroy your self-worth. No, I do not believe. As I comply with the laws, except my one major falter, I do
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