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“You know, most college nicknames are ridiculous, but yours tracks,” he says. The brimming, resonant tone of his voice passes through me like a gentle charge. I take a steadying breath. “Is that right?” Wait, did he just say that I’m pretty? I accept the compliment instead of clarifying the true meaning of my moniker.
We’re all haunted in some way—whether by the secrets we protect, the truths we deny, or the inexplicable ugliness life throws our way.”
He possesses a nourishing warmth that seeps into my bones and reminds me of what it’s like to be untethered from grief.
“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Washington, I pray for your souls to rest in eternal peace. Those who are loved live on in the hearts of those who hold them dear. Though it feels like I’ve known him for a lifetime, I’ve only known your son for a short while, but it’s clear he loves you deeply. It’s said that true friendship is rare. Then, I shall count my blessings daily and cherish the friendship that I have with your son, who I imagine is a reflection of all of your light and love. May peace be upon you. A friend of your son, Sidney King.”
“What happened a couple of months ago?” I catch a slight tremble in his voice. You happened is on the tip of my tongue. I’m tired of holding back from whatever this is. It’s time I put my cards on the table. I lean in. “I was staying at my friend’s house for Christmas, and I fell asleep in his home cinema. As I was heading to my bedroom in the middle of the night, I saw him getting head from his fr—casual lover and it hit me—I wanted to be the one fucking him.”
“I didn’t take you for a cock-blocker,” I joke, but it lands flat. “Cock-blocker?” he repeats, eyebrows creased, spelling confusion. He steps forward, dipping his face so close that heat races across my cheeks. His lips brush against my ear. “Who said that standing here with me means you won’t get fucked tonight?”
“Take me home,” he says—no, commands. This is really happening. Tingling heat spreads through my entire body.
“What is it about you that makes me possessive, like a caveman?”
“How do you identify?” I ask. “I’m bi. I’ve learned through therapy that sexuality isn’t always as simple as falling into one label or category. I’m bi, for sure. But there’s usually an emotional bond coupled with my attraction to men. It’s like I’m bi and demisexual. I know people expect you to fit in one label, but I think sexuality can be way more complex than that.”
“I’m so fucking lucky,” he whispers against my lips once we separate.
“You’re beautiful,” he says, as tears slip from the corners of my eyes. His eyes hold a storm of emotions too. I close my eyes and let my head fall back as I ride him. “No, no, let me see you,” he whispers. I can’t. I don’t know what’s happening to me or why this is so intense.
“What are you doing to me?” I whisper, quickly wiping my eyes. “I could ask the same thing,” he says, voice shaky. “I’m close…fuck. I want to stay in you all night.”
To my family at home watching”—he places his hand on his heart, his signal to me—“god, I wish you were here. I love you, and I can’t wait to celebrate with you. I’m bringing this trophy home to you.”
It wasn’t really a choice. I couldn’t keep him out if I tried. “Even though I try every day, I’ll never know all of your depths. And because of that, I’ll always know humility with you. Sometimes, I fear I’ve met you too late, and we’ll never have enough time.” My eyes sting as I nod. I carry the same fear. Even if we live to a hundred, it won’t be enough time together.
I know we cannot possess another person, but Sid is mine, and I am his forever. I feel it in the marrow of my bones, the tendons of my heart, the core of my soul.
“He’s everything to me—my best friend and my family. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect him and what we have.”
“Here’s the thing—I started falling for you the first time I saw you, and I’ve been utterly in love with you ever since. Even though that day on TV was the first time my eyes laid upon you, my soul recognized you. Its grace and wisdom led me straight to you.”
Ours is an everlasting love forged through life’s fires.’ That was fucking beautiful man. I’m cold-blooded, but that made me tear up.”
The truth is, I can’t control the day or when my loved ones fall ill or depart this life. I can’t predict when grief’s bitter hand will shatter my world again. I don’t know when my final breath will expel from my lungs. There’s one thing I am certain of—I love deeply.
There are some beliefs that turn to dust under a new sun and some that fall away with life’s seasons. There are some that break your heart or lead you down a woeful path of destruction. Yet, there’s one more powerful than them all—love. When it comes to love, it’s a sure shot for me.
