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“Even when you’re sinking through life’s muck, you reach out for help and keep going.”
They mattered. Their sacrifices mattered. Their hopes and dreams for me mattered.
I’ve learned that grieving isn’t a linear process, and time has fuck all to do with healing wounds.
“You know, most college nicknames are ridiculous, but yours tracks,” he says. The brimming, resonant tone of his voice passes through me like a gentle charge. I take a steadying breath. “Is that right?” Wait, did he just say that I’m pretty? I accept the compliment instead of clarifying the true meaning of my moniker.
“There’s freedom in accepting the ephemeral nature of life. We spend so much time fearing the end. I choose to appreciate the current moment for what it is.”
We’re all haunted in some way—whether by the secrets we protect, the truths we deny, or the inexplicable ugliness life throws our way.”
“Mmm, like liquid gold,” I mutter to myself.
possesses a nourishing warmth that seeps into my bones and reminds me of what it’s like to be untethered from grief.
“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Washington, I pray for your souls to rest in eternal peace. Those who are loved live on in the hearts of those who hold them dear. Though it feels like I’ve known him for a lifetime, I’ve only known your son for a short while, but it’s clear he loves you deeply. It’s said that true friendship is rare. Then, I shall count my blessings daily and cherish the friendship that I have with your son, who I imagine is a reflection of all of your light and love. May peace be upon you. A friend of your son, Sidney King.”
“Even though I try every day, I’ll never know all of your depths. And because of that, I’ll always know humility with you. Sometimes, I fear I’ve met you too late, and we’ll never have enough time.”
He gave me the strength to do what I couldn’t for years—visit the past and come away with a sense of peace.
know we cannot possess another person, but Sid is mine, and I am his forever. I feel it in the marrow of my bones, the tendons of my heart, the core of my soul.
My face warms. I’m such a slut for his praise.
“I’m convinced the Creator used a miniature paintbrush and centuries of painstaking detail to create you.” “W-what?” “How else to make sense of your beauty?”
“Let the record reflect that I’m not the one who almost dozed off with my dick in their mouth during our last movie and 69 night,”
At times, it’s felt like a curse and the root of my pain. Yet, it’s the one thing that’s been unfailing through everything. Although I haven’t always felt worthy, I’ve mustered the courage to accept love in return. I believe in Sid and our love and will spend the rest of my days appreciating the time that we have.
The same goes for our family. There are some beliefs that turn to dust under a new sun and some that fall away with life’s seasons. There are some that break your heart or lead you down a woeful path of destruction. Yet, there’s one more powerful than them all—love. When it comes to love, it’s a sure shot for me.
