I don’t like Penny Ryder like that. She’s not my schoolboy crush. She’s my friend and we’re kindred spirits in the sack, but that doesn’t make me want to be her boyfriend. Even if all my wet dreams lately have involved her. Even if her laughter is so adorable, it makes my chest hurt. Even if I’ve never enjoyed sex more, and I haven’t even gotten my dick inside her anywhere but her mouth. Even if my favorite recent memory is cuddling with her in my bed while watching Lord of the Rings.
