I’d like it to be known that everything I’m going to ask her to do are tasks I can do for myself. Things I’ve been doing for years with no problem. I want it to be noted that any wild or obscene shit I tell Wylie to do should not be held against me. I’m merely a pawn in the battle between Coach Wood and his daughter. And despite being a man’s man with perfectly manscaped and lotioned balls, I clearly have no idea how to say . . . no.
