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“Feels like You’ve Got Mail.” “Huh?” I ask. “You know, when Tom Hanks says he’d send Meg Ryan a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if he knew her name and address since she loves New York in the fall.”
Pull me away from this disaster I’m living because, oh my fucking God, the girl of my absolute dreams, the one that’s been persistent in my mind for a year, the girl who could do no wrong, she likes bologna. No, not like . . . loves. LOVES! Actual tears spring to my eyes as panic races through me. I’m going to lose it. I have two choices, ask her to open her mouth so I can fuck it, right here, right now—possibly while she eats a bologna sandwich—or just run.
I love your daughter, I’ve loved her longer than you probably know. I’ve searched high and low for a woman like her, and I’ve waited a long fucking time. I won’t watch you tear her apart. I won’t fucking stand for it.” He knocks his knuckles on the table. “Don’t lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you over pride. You’re better than that.”

