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bologna
Alright
It’s time to call on the Frozen Fellas.
don’t know if I’m into what I’m studying.”
uhhhhm
a string.” That just made them harder. “And last, can’t help that I’m hot, babe. God was generous with this bone structure.” He flashes me a devilish smile. “Only question is, are you willing to give me a chance?”
“No shame. Humor. And a great pair of killer eyes. Which you have.” “Hmm, I thought you were going to say tits.”
“Paid a few times? Well, then.” Dad wipes his hands and leans back in his chair. “Then, by all means, let me roll out the red carpet. You’ve been paid ‘a few times,’ so we might as well start looking into private jets.”
All these assholes are head over heels, living in their lover era, because of me.
Did he . . . did he take my bologna?
“I don’t know, but will you come with me and hold my hand?” I ask. “Fuck, no.” Taters shakes his head. “You’re on your own.”
The girl I hired a fucking private investigator to find. That’s how goddamn desperate I was. Wasted money, since all I had to do was ask Coach Wood to meet his daughter.
“I’m not awkward. Are you awkward? Because I feel fine. Great actually. Rip-roaring and ready to go.”
Eli: Yes *deadpans* I want to make our coach squeal. Pacey: As the brother of your future wife, I’m going to say I’m not happy about this.
“She loves bologna.” A collective gasp falls over the group, all the women with slack jaws and blinking eyes. “Oh dear God,” Winnie whispers, leaning back. “Fuck,” Ollie says.
Sandie: Oh, I do . . . Wylie: Time for the ultimate push-up bra to take the reins. Sandie: Poor, poor Posey. Should have stuck with the braless attire.
Levi: RED ALERT. RED ALERT. I NEED MY LABIA LADIES! Penny: Ew, you are not calling us that. Blakely: Think of a better name, or we’re not helping. Ollie: Agreed. A much better name. Winnie: *Snorts* Levi: I’M IN DISTRESS! That’s the first thing that came to mind.
Penny: Try again. Levi: Quintessential Queens. Ollie: Too long. Levi: Quirky Queens. Winnie: You’re getting worse. Levi: Uhh . . . Queefing Queens? Penny: You’re going to be dead to us in mere seconds. Levi: I’m sorry! Like I said before, I’M IN DISTRESS! Blakely: You know, it doesn’t have to start with a Q. Levi: For the love of God, just help me. Work on the name later.
“You did a great job. I love your place.” “Thank you,” he says as the doors part to the parking garage. “The black Tesla right over there.” “Oh, that’s right. You and the boys all have one.” “Can’t remember who started it, but we all followed.”
“Ugh, wearing that bra was absolute torture today. Sure my boobs looked great, but that was so uncomfortable.” “Beauty is pain.”
Penny: Thinking. Ollie: Well, we could . . . uh . . . Winnie: There’s the . . . uh . . . Blakely: You know, we could . . . well, no, that won’t work. Penny: *thinks* Levi: This is not helpful!
Levi: I say this with respect, but you ladies have failed me, and I’m not so sure I can continue this journey with you. I fear your advice is not even a step above what I’d get from the men.
Winnie: I’m upset about this. Truly.
And yup . . . fuck . . . me. Jesus Christ, did she come to fucking play.
Penny: What? You’re texting us while she’s holding your dick? What is wrong with you? Blakely: Like legit, right now, she’s gripping your cock? Winnie: Why would you be texting us while she’s doing that? Focus on what she’s doing. Jesus, Levi. Ollie: You know, I kind of like the idea of him texting us while she fondles him. Can you describe it to us? Penny: Jesus, Ollie, go find Silas!
He looks between us. “We’re his starting lineup. He fucks with one of us, he fucks with all of us.” I slowly turn to Halsey and touch his hand. “Dude, my nipples just got hard.”
love this banter truly
“Good,” Winnie says. “If anything, you’ve gained a whole bunch of brothers and sisters.” I smile. “I can get on board with that.”
“You are the best thing to ever happen to me. You are my rock, my strength, my everything, and I’m so beyond grateful you have chosen me.”
