The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

by Ross W. Greene

Here are the drilling strategies, followed by examples: STRATEGY #1: Reflective listening is the art of simply saying back to the child whatever he just said to you, and is often accompanied by clarifying statements, like “How so?” or “I don’t quite understand” or “I’m confused” or “Can you say more about that?” or “What do you mean?” This is the most commonly used drilling strategy. If you’re drilling and you get stuck and aren’t sure what to say, reflective listening and clarifying statements are always a safe bet. STRATEGY #2: Asking questions beginning with the words who, what, where, or when. STRATEGY #3: Asking about why the unsolved problem occurs under some conditions and not others. STRATEGY #4: Asking the child what he’s thinking in the midst of the unsolved problem. Notice that’s thinking, not feeling. While it’s fine to understand a child’s feelings about an unsolved problem, asking about what he’s thinking is more likely to provide information about his concern or perspective. STRATEGY #5: Breaking the unsolved problem down into its component parts. Most unsolved problems have multiple components. Getting ready for bed at night has components; so does getting ready for school in the morning and completing homework. But kids sometimes need help identifying those components so they can tell which component is causing them difficulty.