Wish You Weren't Here

by Gracie Ruth Mitchell

A painfully slow decapitation, and a tombstone that reads HERE LIES CLEMENTINE COOK—JACK OF SOME TRADES, MASTER OF NONE—MOSTLY UNSKILLED, ESPECIALLY IN THE ART OF DIRK FIGHTING AND OTHER SURVIVAL-RELATED ACTIVITIES. UNWILLING TO DRINK HER OWN URINE.

I LOVE HER ALREADY