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Sometimes I think I have no friends because I’m the problem. It makes me sad. Well, it’s not like I haven’t tried. In the past, I’ve talked to my classmates—despite my social anxiety—but they seemed uninterested. I talked about novels, and they thought they were boring. I talked about music, and they commented on my music taste. Everything I like isn’t something they like. I feel out of place here.
When there’s an emptiness inside of you, you try to fill it with other things. If it could be filled by you it wouldn’t be there in the first place.
My emptiness is loneliness. I fill it with books. The company of fictional characters, and the bonds that feel real. That explains why I’m always attached to a book. I don’t want to be alone or be empty.
My voice cracks. “I’d love to, if it’s okay with you.” I’m sixteen, and this is the first time I’m making a friend.
I’m right where she left me.
“Someone is hurting you. Tell me the fucking name and I’ll take care of them.”
“You have no idea what I’m fucking capable of. If you just tell me, they won’t hurt you ever again.” There’s a promise behind his words.
My eyes don’t steer away from her eyes. I’m afraid that if I look away I’ll miss this pure joy that sparks in them. This rare sight steals my breath away. I’m breathless over this pretty girl.
This little thing has sort of become our routine. I used to eat alone at diners but now she accompanies me which I don’t mind. In fact, I enjoy her company.
“Look at her again and you’ll see how quickly I’ll break the fucking rules for her.”
“What’s wrong?” “Everything.” “Tell me. I’ll fix it.” “You already did.”
“I remember everything you tell me. You just have to tell me.”
know I said I won’t offer you my help but forget about it. I will help you no matter what. If someone is hurting you, I’ll hurt them a thousand times worse. I will protect you.”
“You’re fucking adorable,”
So, it amuses me when she thinks she’s invisible, but she’s all I can see. She tries to blend in the background, but I’d pick her up even in a kaleidoscope of colors. She’s anything but a shade that’s supposed to not capture your attention. My attention.
“Whatever it is that’s bothering you, I’ll make it go away for you. I’ll do anything for you. You just tell me what’s fucking wrong. I’ll take care of it, Rose.”
I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s a woman. She won’t be receiving mercy from me though. I’ll get Marie to beat her or better yet hire someone. I’ll make her pay for hurting Hope. I’ll make anyone pay for hurting her.
I did giggle
I jostle in shock at the sound of his voice. I can recognize it anywhere.
I’m so fucking down for this girl. I can feel it in my bones. She thinks books are where you escape. She should take a tour of my mind. She’s the owner of my every fucking thought where I find escape. She’s my escape.
I bend my head to look deep into her light brown eyes which have become my favorite eyes in the world.
Yes, I’m fucking smiling. Only for her.
I know I’ve lost my mind. But it’s fine, as long as it’s her I’m losing my mind over.
“Tell me who he is, and I’ll swear I’ll bury him six feet under. You won’t ever have to be afraid of him.”
“I thought you liked smoking.” He kisses me again. “I like you more.”
She tastes like heaven. Pure perfection.
