Unfortunately the look can continue to work even after the parent dies. There are at least two reasons for this. First, we internalize our parents in a way that they can subliminally appear in our imaginations and give us the look whenever we are less than perfect. This includes “imperfections” in thought, feeling or action. Sadly, I often see this subliminal look mimicked on the faces of my flashbacked clients as they scowl contemptuously at themselves. And second, when anyone else looks at us disapprovingly, we can generalize that they are as dangerous as our parents.
