To facilitate the reclaiming of assertiveness, I encourage the survivor to imagine herself confronting a current or past unfairness. This type of role-playing is often delicate work, as it can invoke a therapeutic flashback that brings up old fear. As the survivor learns to stay present in assertiveness role-plays, she becomes more aware of how fear triggers her into fawning. She can then practice staying present to her fear and acting assertively anyway. With enough practice she then heals the developmental arrest of not having learned “to feel the fear and do it anyway.” This in turn sets
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