Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

by Pete Walker

For the survivor, this therapeutic synthesis can come into being when an improved supportive relationship with yourself allows you to choose and open to a helpful relationship. Sometimes simultaneously, the attainment of a safe, supportive relationship with another person promotes the growth of your ability to be self-supportive. This then rewards you with a decrease in your automatic tendency toward self-abandonment. Complementarily, this then fosters the gradual development of community – the vital life resource that you were so unfairly deprived of in childhood. The more self-supportive we become the more we attract supportive others. The more we are supported by others, the more we can support ourselves. Sometimes we get initiated into this dynamic Tao by our own efforts - sometimes by the grace of finding a supportive friend or professional helper. For many of us survivors a considerable amount of self-help work has to take place before we are able to open to relational support – before we become discerning enough to choose truly safe and helpful support.