Self-mothering is based on the precept that unconditional love is every child’s birthright. Recovering from the loss of unconditional love is problematic. Not getting enough of it as children was the greatest loss we had. Sadly, this loss can never be completely remediated, because unconditional love is only appropriate and developmentally helpful during the first two years or so of life. After this time, the toddler has to begin to learn that human love comes with some conditions. Although love still needs to be copious at this time, the child must be gently shown that behaviors like hitting,
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