Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant: How Nannying for the 1% Taught Me about the Myths of Equality, Motherhood, and Upward Mobility in America

by Stephanie Kiser

Most Upper East Siders choose to put their wealth to good use and avoid the nuisance of sleepless nights. They hire a baby nurse, a woman whose sole purpose is to tend to the newborn’s every need, day or night. Baby nurses work twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. A mother with a baby nurse will never need to change a diaper, clean a circumcision, or ease their baby’s tummy troubles. The cost of this service is high—an experienced or certified baby nurse in New York City can put you out a thousand a day. Of course, Sasha’s family could easily afford it; to them, the cost would hardly register. But Sasha loves motherhood. She never offloads her responsibilities as a mother, not even in the rawest, most difficult moments. I respect her for that. But I also really don’t get it.

I didn’t even know if I believed in God, but I knew that there was no punishment he could give a woman for this that would be worse than the one they gave themselves.

In Manhattan, having a therapist is a mark of success, wealth, and awareness. In a poor neighborhood, it can mean only one thing: you’re crazy.

Vacationing with small children isn’t a vacation at all. It’s just a bunch of mundane tasks and tantrums with a bad sunburn.