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I have to hold it together because that’s my job. Everyone is allowed to break but me. Never me.
This guy is either going to be the best or worst thing to ever happen to me. I’m equally afraid of both.
“You’re not like anyone else,” he says to the door. “And that scares the shit out of me.”
I don’t want to fuck up whatever this is because nothing has ever felt as right as Nick. No other man, no woman, just Nick.
Some piece inside my chest that I didn’t even know was misaligned, clicks together. It steals my breath.
For the first time since my dad died, someone is letting me be weak, and to take comfort. He’s not demanding that I be strong and hold in my emotions. It’s freeing and terrifying.
“Your sexuality doesn’t define you. You’re still you, no matter what gets your dick hard.”
“I’m going to fuck you like I hate you. Make this hole gape for me.”
Matt doesn’t want to grow up so I’ll spend the rest of my life taking care of him. Not to mention when Mom gets too old to take care of herself, I’ll have to take care of her too. It’s only fair, right? Since she took care of me, I should take care of her.
God forbid he hurts someone’s feelings. It didn’t take me long to figure that out about him. He doesn’t know how to stand up for himself, but I desperately want to teach him.
I just want to hold him.
Sometimes, guys need hugs too.
I need him just as much as he needs me. It’s clear as day.
I need him to need me.
“You deserve good things, Joey.”
“Letting yourself be cared for doesn’t make you selfish. Wanting your own dreams doesn’t make you selfish. Wanting your family to figure their own shit out doesn’t make you selfish.”
“They are not your responsibility. They never should have been.
“One, you aren’t the only one with baggage. I’ve got some too. Second, having issues or baggage or whatever doesn’t make you undeserving of love or affection or friendship.”
“I don’t want someone easier. I want you. Just the way you are.”
“You’re worth everything.”
Baby, you were mine that first night in the bar. You just didn’t know it yet. Label it however you want to. You’re mine and I don’t share.
“If you need me to be brave for you for a while, I will. Lean on me, I’ll protect you. Even from yourself.”
“I don’t know what the future holds, but I know there’s no one else I would rather find out with than you.”