Sinner (The Wolves of Mercy Falls #4)

by Maggie Stiefvater

I came back for you, Isabel.

I wasn’t particularly gifted at staying anywhere. But L.A. was where Isabel Culpeper was. Thinking her name was a dangerous, obsessive thought-road. I would not let myself call her until I had gotten to the house. I would not call her until I had thought of a theatrical way to tell her I was in California.

And now I’d let myself think Isabel’s name and there wasn’t room for anything else. This car, this interview, this everything else — Isabel was the real thing. She was the song.

What I wanted was: I wanted. Isabel —

There was something satisfying, really, about just calling her number and having her pick up.

I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I wanted to tell her Isabel, stay. And I wanted to tell her, Isabel, I love you.

It had happened. Against my will, despite the naked girls and the smell of wolf and all of the things that hinted at future misery, I had fallen back in love with Cole.

It wasn’t a part of my brain I liked to engage. Until very recently, I thought I’d lobotomized it from my skull, but apparently it was still in there.

Cole texted me: Actually I want you

I took out my phone. I called Sam, who didn’t pick up, and left a voicemail that was only the song. I called Grace and did the same.

My words were I need you right now I need to kiss you I want to have you here I want to just have you

I was so perfectly born to die.

I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted to make something.

“Did you choose life while I was gone?” I said, “Sure.” Jeremy asked, “Did you mean it?” It hurt, but sort of in a good way, to look him in the face. “Yes.”

“Please come get me.”

I wanted Isabel to call me and tell me she had been wrong, that she wanted me, that she loved me.