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Churches split, families divide, marriages shatter, and love dies, crushed by an onslaught of words launched in hurt and frustration. Offended by friends, family, and leaders, we take aim with words sharpened by bitterness and anger. Even though information may be factual and accurate, motives are impure.
Proverbs 6:16–19 says that sowing discord or separation among brethren is an abomination to the Lord. When we repeat something with the intention of separating or damaging relationships or reputations—even though it is true—it is still an affront to God.
Later, when I could look at the scene more objectively, I realized I had wanted to avenge myself more than protect anyone in the ministry. I had reasoned myself into believing my motives were unselfish. My information was accurate, but my motives were impure.
Because I had forgiven him six months previously, I now loved him and did not wish this for him.
When those who have been placed in my life to lead me and train me betray me and turn against me, as Saul turned against David, I will follow the example of David and refuse to let hope die in my heart.
Holy Spirit, empower me to be a spiritual father or mother to those who need me to disciple, love, support, and encourage them.
Father, raise up spiritual leaders in our land who can lead others with justice, mercy, integrity, and love. Allo...
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When I am cut off from my father [physical or spiritual] through his insecurity, jealousy, or pride, cause me to recognize that as You did with David, ...
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Holy Spirit, release me from tormenting thoughts or self-blame and striving for acceptance. Cause me to seek only...
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Through Your power, O Lord, I will refuse to attack my enemies with my tongue, for I will never forget that both death and life are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21).
I will never seek to sow discord or separation between myself and my Christian brothers and sisters, for it is an abomination to my Lord.
I will show kindness to others who are in relationship with the ones who have wronged me. Like David I will find ways to honor them and will not allow offense to cause me to disrespect them.
Lord, I choose to remain loyal to those in a position of authority over me. I choose to focus on the calling You have placed on my life and to refuse to be diverted by the actions of others, even when they have treated me wrongly.
It is righteous for God to avenge His servants. It is unrighteous for God’s servants to avenge themselves.
God tests His servants with obedience. He deliberately places us in situations where the standards of religion and society would appear to justify our actions. He allows others, especially those close to us, to encourage us to protect ourselves. We may even think we would be noble and protect others by avenging ourselves. But this is not God’s way. It is the way of the world’s wisdom. It is earthly and fleshly.
He knew Eli was God’s servant, not his. He knew that God was quite capable of dealing with His own.
Remember that, if you’re in the place where God wants you, the devil will try to offend you to get you out. He wants to uproot men and women from the place where God plants them. If he can get you out, he has been successful. If you will not budge, even in the midst of great conflict, you will spoil his plans.
Offended people react to the situation and do things that appear right even though they are not inspired by God. We are not called to react but to act.
Trees endure the hot sun and rainstorms by sending their roots down deeper. The adversity they face is eventually the source of great stability. The harshness of the elements surrounding them causes them to seek another source of life. They will one day come to the place that even the greatest of windstorms cannot affect their ability to produce fruit.
Most Floridians know that the colder the winter is for the trees, the sweeter the oranges. If we did not run so fast from spiritual resistance, our root systems would have a chance to become stronger and deeper, and our fruit would be plentiful and sweeter in the eyes of God and more palatable to His people! We would be mature trees that the Lord delights in, rather than ones uprooted for their lack of fruit (Luke 13:6–9). We should not resist the very thing God sends to mature us.
In other words, a believer who chooses to delight in the Word of God in the midst of adversity will avoid being offended. That person will be like a tree whose roots search deep to where the Spirit provides strength and nourishment. He will draw from the well of God deep within his spirit. This will mature him to the point where adversity will now be the catalyst for fruit. Hallelujah!
Once you leave the place God has chosen for you, your root system begins to dwarf. The next time it will be easier for you to flee from adversity because you have been careful not to root yourself deeply. You end up coming to the place where you have little or no strength to endure hardship or persecution. You then become a spiritual vagabond, wandering from place to place, suspicious and afraid that others will mistreat you. Crippled and hindered in your ability to produce true spiritual fruit, you struggle in a self-centered life, eating the remains of the fruit of others.
Offended people still may experience miracles, words of utterance, strong preaching, and healing in their lives. But these are gifts of the Spirit, not fruits. We will be judged according to fruit, not gifting. A gift is given. Fruit is cultivated.
Notice that God said Cain would become a fugitive and a vagabond as a result of his actions. There are numerous spiritual fugitives and vagabonds in our churches today. Their gifts of singing, preaching, prophesying, and so on are not received by the leadership in their previous church, so off they go. They are running aimlessly and carry an offense, looking for that perfect church that will receive their gift and heal their hurts.
An isolated person seeks only his own desire, not God’s. He receives no counsel and sets himself up for deception.
Holy Spirit, enable me to live in Your power so that when God, my Father, is testing my heart, He will find a heart that seeks after His heart and not the insecurity of a man [or woman] who seeks to take matters into my own hands.
Like the time of Samuel, we live in this day of corruption and compromise among others; even among spiritual leaders the word of the Lord in revelation is rare. Make me like a Samuel who refuses to judge others but chooses to serve them instead.
Holy Spirit, empower me to serve Your appointed leaders and not to judge or correct them. It is not my word of correction that is needed; it is Yours.
I refuse to run from the difficulties in the church in which You have placed me, but I will work with my spiritual brothers and sisters to face the troubles and to work through them. I refuse to be offended and flee. Father, I will not flee from my church in offense. The only way I will ever leave is to “go out with joy, and be led out with peace” (Isa. 55:12). Father, according to Your Word, You have set me in the body just as You please. I am in the place where You want me, and I will not allow the devil to uproot me through the trap of offence. I will not be moved by the adversities I may
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I am committed to being an active member of God’s family. I was not created to live separately and independently of others. I will develop the character of Christ as I care for and nurture others. I will reject the enemy’s trap of offense.
When God does instruct you to leave, you will go out with peace, no matter what the condition of the ministry.
Therefore, your departure will not be based on the actions or behavior of others but rather on the Spirit’s leading. So leaving a ministry is not based on how bad things are.
Immature Christians are less likely to follow the leading of the Spirit of God. Most often they react or respond emotionally or intellectually to circumstances they face. They have not yet learned to act only on the Spirit of God’s leading.
Physical growth is a function of time. No two-year-old child has ever been six feet tall. Intellectual growth is a function of learning. Spiritual growth is a function of neither time nor learning, but it is a function of obedience.
Just as Jesus learned obedience by the things He suffered, we learn obedience by the difficult circumstances we face. When we obey the Word of God that is spoken by the Holy Spirit, we will grow and mature in the times of conflict and suffering. Our knowledge of Scripture is not the key. Obedience is.
Truth must be allowed to have its way in our lives if we are going to grow and mature. It is not enough to give mental assent to it without obeying it. Even though we continue to learn, we never mature because of disobedience.
The pastor said to me, “If we are so set in our hearts not to face difficult situations, God will actually release us even though it is not His perfect will.”
We can pester the Lord regarding something for which He has already shown us His will. He will then allow us to do what we want even when it is against His original plan—even when it is not in our best interest.
A wise friend said later, “There is an old proverb which states, ‘Once a dog has been scalded with boiling water he will even fear cold water.’” How many today are afraid of the cold water that will bring refreshing because they have been burned once and cannot forgive?
Father, make me not only Your teknon son [or daughter], adopted into Your family by my new birth through Christ, but also Your huios son, able to be identified as Your son [or daughter] because I display the godly characteristics of my Father.
Holy Spirit, I am committed to obeying the Word of God that is spoken to me from You, that I may grow and mature in my times of conflict and suffering.
I will allow Your truth to have its way in my life so that I am not like those who are “always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Tim. 3:7).
Once you receive revealed knowledge from God, no one can sway you. When God reveals something to you, it doesn’t matter what the whole world says. They cannot change your heart.
When we listen to an anointed minister speak or as we read a book, we should look for the words or phrases that explode in our spirits. This is the word God is revealing to us.
A person who is not stabilized or founded in the revealed Word of God is a prime candidate to be moved along by the storm of offense.
When you know God has put you in a relationship or a church, the enemy will have a much more difficult time getting you out. You are founded on the revealed Word of God and will work through the conflicts even when it looks impossible.
God selected a wife for me who was the desire of my heart. But she also exposed the selfish immaturity that was hidden in me. And there was much! To run from the conflict by choosing divorce or by blaming her would have only buried my immaturity under another layer of counterfeit protection called offense. Knowing the Word of God for marriage kept me from leaving.
They describe their present relation to the ministries or churches they are now part of as “temporary” or “this is where God has me for now.” I even heard one man say, “I’m on loan to this church.” They make these statements so that, if things get difficult, they have an escape route. They have no foundation to stand on in the new places they go; storms can blow them easily to the next port.
I often say that trials and tests locate a person. In other words, they determine where you are spiritually. They reveal the true condition of your heart. How you react under pressure is how the real you reacts.
Be sure that you build your life on God’s revealed Word, not what others say. Keep seeking the Lord and listening to your heart. Don’t do or say things just because everyone else does. Seek Him and stand on what is illuminated in your heart!
