The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #1)

by Rick Riordan

But if you recognize yourself in these pages—if you feel something stirring inside—stop reading immediately. You might be one of us.

You should’ve seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.

I told Grover I didn’t think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, “You’re absolutely right.”

“Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan’s stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld.

I had never made above a C– in my life.

Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady’s purse,

I remembered Mr. Brunner’s serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.

“Oh, confound it all. What I’m trying to say…you’re not normal, Percy. That’s nothing to be—”

“Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip…And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game.”

Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.

“O Zeu kai alloi theoi!” he yelled.

I was too shocked to register that he’d just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I’d understood him perfectly.

“Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you underhoof for such an insult!”

“Oh, nobody much,” Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. “Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions.”

Lightning. That was the only explanation.

If you were—you know—you’d never ever be allowed a quest, and I’d never get my license.

Maybe you should stop worrying about yourself and focus on your charge, barnyard. Yeah, fuck this guy. GCG

“Poseidon,” said Chiron. “Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God.”

How could I confess that?

seaweed brain,”

The camp store loaned me one hundred dollars in mortal money

One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena’s temple, which is hugely disrespectful.

Medusa was Poseidon’s girlfriend.

That is literally the saddest thing I have ever read. GCG

he accosted several elderly female passengers.

We couldn’t get berths in the sleeper car, so we dozed in our seats.

She wouldn’t let me play with her children.

I wondered if Annabeth would like that description.

I didn’t see how that could be legal,

drank three Cokes,

“Hey, man. Bad vibes. I got a game happening.”

We had been in the Lotus Casino for five days.

I couldn’t recall what the invisible servant’s voice had sounded like, though I was sure it was somebody I knew.

“Percy…let’s not talk about it. Because if it isn’t Hades…No. It has to be Hades.”

My stepson took everything I cared about.

An adolescent boy with serious issues.

Is Percy Jackson a delinquent, a terrorist, or perhaps the brainwashed victim of a frightening new cult?

“I just center the subject as best I can and lop off whatever hangs over on either end.”

“Sir,”

Suppose you’ll have to take a seat for a few centuries.”

“Forever, or until I’m feeling generous.”

A boy no older than I was, shuffling silently along in his gray robe.

Mind you, don’t forget to mention my pay raise.”

I thought about that as we waited for the ghouls to pass. I pretended not to see Annabeth wipe a tear from her cheek as she listened to the mournful keening of Cerberus in the distance, longing for his new friend.

The dead aren’t scary. They’re just sad.

or listen to opera music.

So few people did good in their lives. It was depressing.

What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades’s underwear?

“But you took Zeus’s master bolt.”

Nothing gets me angrier than being accused of something I didn’t do.

“Which you already possess!” Hades shouted. “You came here with it, little fool, thinking you could threaten me!”