Highway with Green Apples

by Bae Suah

I never know what the next day will bring, so I am always uneasy.

How long is an ocean of time? Feelings as countless as grains of sand. Distances as far-flung as the sky. How much is that, I wonder.

I felt certain that just because practically every single person found someone to marry did not mean that they’d found a love as gentle as a spring breeze or that shook them up like a midsummer storm.

Sure enough, my cousin shows up married to the guy. I say good-bye to her at the café and am walking back to the store when I realize that, at the same time that I am impressed by her, I also feel like she’s become a complete stranger to me. I feel suddenly afraid.

“I’m lonely, and it hurts.” I told him, “I wanted so badly to be smothered with love that I thought I would go crazy.”