Deathtrap (Murder and Mayhem #1)

by Alexandra St. Pierre

the relationships depicted between characters are extremely toxic. These relationships are not something I would wish on anyone in real life. This is complete fiction, and if you ever meet someone who behaves even remotely close to the way the men depicted in this book do, I urge you to seek help and remove yourself from the situation immediately.

Always go down the road, never across the street if you want to make it to the other side.

“Why do you want to work here?” he asked sharply. I felt like ‘because I need money’ wasn’t the answer he was looking for.

the answer I always want to give them when I’m asked this

Eloah was the regional manager for all the Voodoo stores in Gravestone. He was like a god.

“You like stealing other people’s jobs, don’t you?”

I watched His expert fingers wind her essence with a thread of wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and, finally, my least favorite of the seven… fear of The Lord.

You have twenty-two years. Do not let her fail,”

Suicide was a cardinal sin. Yahweh would not tolerate a soul that attempted to take death into their own hands before they had been gifted with the God-given right to do so. That was why I intervened each time.

I made another deliciously sinister decision at that moment. She would no longer be permitted to touch herself either. Only I would be touching her until her coronation.

“If you’re trying to convince me you’re not a brat, that little temper tantrum isn’t helping.”

“I never said I didn’t like you, Lilith.”

“The devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.” —TUCKER MAX

“Bitches love pumpkin spice lattes.”

“You didn’t kill him, deathtrap... I did.”

“What the FUCK DO YOU WANT!? LEAVE ME ALONE!” I screamed, and Death chuckled. Not in my mind, but out loud. I felt a spike of horror and adrenaline shoot through my chest when I realized I knew that chuckle.

“I’ve been stalking you your whole fucking life; what made you think tonight was going to be the night you got away?” This couldn’t be fucking happening…

I realized with a start that he had been conditioning me to respond to him. “You know who I am, Lilith, you’ve always known. I’m the fucking Reaper. Death. Satan. The Devil. I’m your personal fucking nightmare, and I will never let you go.”

Suddenly, it wasn’t Chaos sitting on the edge of the bed, but Shem.

“You’re Chaos?!”

I may not be as depraved as your soon-to-be husband, but I’m still a demon.

I’m way behind on projections now because of you.” Rafael scowled at me. “On top of that, I’m now short-staffed. You took my best bartender, and I’m assuming you won’t be back to work your shift tonight either,” he complained. I laughed. “You know Raf, everyone says you’re a little dim, but I don’t see it. You’re sharp as a tack if you ask me.” “No one says I’m dim, asshole.”

“Why did I stalk you and kill everyone you’ve ever known and loved? Or why did I pretend to be Reaver?”

“I don’t understand why you did this. For how much you hated me, I don’t get why you would try to summon me.” “Hate you,” I corrected. He glanced up at me, the corner of his mouth twitching up. “My mistake, deathtrap. You’re right. For how much you hate me, I don’t understand why you would try to summon me.”

“Unfortunately, deathtrap, suicide is a cardinal sin. There would have been no rest for you, even if you weren’t who you are. Yahweh doesn’t reincarnate souls that take their own lives. He considers them a failure and unusable. They come here to stay with me.” For some reason, this made me incredibly sad. It didn’t seem fair that souls who were too tired for life weren’t even given the chance to rest in death.

“I do it because of you,” I whispered. I met his eyes and let him see just how much he had hurt me. “My entire life has been so miserable. You’ve killed everyone I’ve ever known. I haven’t been allowed to touch anyone for years. Before you decided you wanted to fuck me, the only living thing I had touched until I accidentally hugged Sam was Chaos, and it turns out even he wasn’t my friend. I’ve never been loved. I’ve been so fucking lonely because of you.”

To my horror, the demons in the dining room erupted into applause when I finished, and I felt my entire face flush.

“Even if we did have more time, we both know that I would continue to hurt you. I would hurt you again and again, Lilith, because I am a monster, and I love to see you cry.”

“You know as well as I do that I’m not capable of being kind… but for reasons that I cannot fathom or understand, you make me want to fucking try.”

“Tell me that you like me, and make me believe you.” My jaw dropped. “I would rather suck your fucking dick!”

“When we were at Voodoo, you asked me to go for drinks after work every time we had a shift together, even though I always said no. Why?” I asked. Something that looked an awful lot like remorse crossed his face, and I felt my chest tighten. “Because you were breaking. I knew you were lonely. I saw it every day when you came home from work. And I couldn’t tell Ramel who you were or do anything to interfere with Yahweh’s plans. Ramel had to get there on his own. In the meantime, I thought you could use a friend, so I tried to be one for you.”

The book claimed Yahweh had made her before Eve, and she had been meant to be Adam’s wife. My blood boiled at the thought. It was a good thing that prick had been dead for a millennia, or I would have had to fucking kill him. His soul was so old that Yahweh had retired it. Lilith had been ordered to obey Adam, and she refused, demanding that she be treated as an equal. My lip twitched at the thought. That certainly sounded like my Lilith. Yahweh refused, so she left the Garden of Eden, and as a punishment, He condemned her to rule the underworld.

“What about a classic… Want to watch Scream?” Shem asked, and Lilith squealed. “Yes! Oh my G—” she stopped herself and glanced up at me sheepishly. “Oh my gosh, I haven’t watched Scream in so long. Ramel, have you seen it?” I shook my head, and her jaw dropped. “You haven’t seen Scream?” “Dude, you need to get out more,”

“If you want to feed me chips like old times, I won’t complain.” Shem smirked at Lilith. She rolled her eyes and shoved a chip aggressively into his mouth. “It’s less cute when you’re my captor instead of my cat,”

“I found out why you were put in purgatory. It was my fault.”

Hazai and I need to leave for this meeting. You have to promise me that if someone offers to help you escape, you will say no. I can’t protect you if you leave here.” “Isn’t that what Shem has been trying to brainwash me to do all week?”

“Wait! What did you do to get me stuck in purgatory? Aren’t you going to tell me?” I asked, and Ramel paused by the door, looking back at me with regret painted across his face. “I loved you,” he rasped, and my heart stopped in my chest.

“I love you,” I whispered against her, and she smiled, crawling up into my lap and wrapping her arms around me. “I love you, too.”

“The Devil is real. And he’s not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful. Because he’s a fallen angel, and he used to be God’s favorite.”

“He fucking married you?” he hissed in disbelief, and my heart skipped a beat. What did that have to do with anything? Suddenly, Ramel’s voice floated through the room. “Fucking right I did, you piece of shit.”

“Did you touch my fucking wife?” Ramel asked, his voice deadly calm. “I think he did, Ram,” Shem purred. If Ram was murder, Shem was mayhem.

“Would you like that, my little deathtrap? Cuddles and stories with your two favorite assholes?”

“First of all, I’m sorry, and I know Ramel is too. You have to understand I couldn’t say shit about our past, and Yahweh erased Ramel’s memories and intentionally set him up to feel threatened by you. He told Ramel that he was Death and the ruler of Hell, and after a thousand years suddenly said ‘nope, actually this new mortal is taking your place, hope you’re cool with that.’” Ramel’s eyes darkened. “I was not cool with that. I hated you on sight, and that was exactly what Yahweh wanted. He wanted me to torment you as punishment for defying Him over four-and-a-half millennia ago.” Together, they told me the story of how I was Lilith, the original ruler of Hell. They explained how I had changed them both from angels to demons and more or less built Hell together with them.

out of all of us, I’m the only one that’s monogamous.” I turned to look at him over my shoulder. “You are?” I asked, and he nodded. “Mhmm. I only have eyes for you, deathtrap. Shem, on the other hand…” Shem chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’ll fuck anything that walks. I would fuck Ramel if he would let me.” Ramel barked out a laugh. “I didn’t realize you wanted to fuck me, baby; all you had to do was ask,” he said with a wink, and Shem cracked up.

“As much as I like tormenting her, her fucking smile makes my insides feel all fuzzy,”

“This one’s for you, Ramel,” she said, pointing to a massive wine-colored pumpkin. It was tall and oval and had a perfect spot for a carving. I smirked at her. I didn’t usually participate in the pumpkin carving contest, which is why I hadn’t told her to choose one for me, but she was looking at me with so much excitement in her eyes that I couldn’t deny her.

I fucking loved her so much that my heart suddenly felt like it was breaking. “What?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “What do you mean ‘what’?” I asked, chuckling. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Shem laughed and shook his head. “He’s got it so bad for you, sweetheart. Haven’t you been paying attention?”

“What is this?” I asked. “A forest.” Shem smirked, and I rolled my eyes. “Obviously.

“You may be the Goddess of Decay, and Ramel may be the Reaper of Death, but I am the Demon of Chaos, Lilith.

“Run, Lilith. Run as fast as you fucking can because if we catch you, we’ll make sure you never run from us again.”

“Go. Before I do something I’ll regret,” he threatened, but something was off. He didn’t sound as menacing as normal. He’s scared.