Till Death (The Never Sky, #1)

by Miranda Lyn

I answer to Death first and my king second.”

“You would not judge me if you knew what you were missing.” I snorted. “I’m not innocent, Ro. I know exactly what I’m missing.” “A single dip of a stick by a mere boy does not teach you what you are missing. You need a man to throw you around a little bit.” “If a man ever tried to throw me around, I’d cut his balls off before he had the chance to empty them.” The edges of her mouth curved into a wry smile. “I’ve tried that. It’s not nearly as fun. They scream a lot.”

The only thing that flourished in this world was misery. And the godsdamned crows.

Bram Ellis held a position of rank, and that fact alone would mean evading guards. My favorite fucking pastime.

“Deyanira Sariah Hark, Death Maiden, Princess of Perth… you never, ever lose your fight. You never let someone defeat you. You never falter. You stand. You step. You rise. This world will eat you whole if you let it. Even the disease crawling on our streets is thick enough to take you down. We don’t show weakness or cower in the dark. Promise me.”

“Marry me, Princess Deyanira Sariah Hark, Death’s Maiden, heir to the throne of Perth. Tomorrow for the crowds and the kingdoms, but tonight, for us. They will never know, but we can take the choice away from them. We’ll marry on our terms and not theirs.”

Why aren’t you cowering?

“The choice of our hearts should never be dictated by the whims of kingdoms or the expectations of others. We shouldn’t be forced into the confines of tradition. Let me prove to you, future wife, that I am worthy and willing without the order from my council.”

I couldn’t deny the urge to defy my father for the sake of having a choice. And this man, this conundrum of a person, had put it all on the line and still agreed to marry me, not only without a fight, but he was fighting for it. For us. Here and now.

“You’re making me uncomfortable.” He searched my eyes before simply dropping his hands and stepping away. “I’m sorry.”

For a second, I felt weak, but the way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me, made me feel more. Stronger. Enough.

“Come on, fearsome, king-slaying Death Maiden with thirty-two titles. Let’s ruin everyone’s plans.”

“I say let her bleed for a while,” the woman said as they threw me into the carriage, pain racing through my abdomen. “Let her suffer.” “We aren’t barbarians, Paesha,” Orin said. “You just stabbed your wife in the Scarlet District, and now you’re dragging her ass home for the second time in so many hours. I’d define barbarianism to you if I thought it would matter.”

“So eager for a battle, even when you’re broken.”

But wishes were for dreamers, and my dreams conjured nightmares.

A crash downstairs turned the house into an uproar of Quill screaming at her dog while Orin’s mother yelled about catching whatever he’d just stolen from the kitchen, and Hollis laughing a great, big, belly laugh. Within seconds, my door flew open, and Boo dashed into the room, a whole cooked chicken in his mouth. He tried darting under the bed but didn’t fit, so half of him hung out, that white long-hair tail thumping against the floor in victory.

“Some of us chose to be alone, Old Man.” “Yes. And some of us are plagued by it.”

Thea is a… oppymis.” “Oppymis?” “Yeah, you know. She always sees things brighter.” We crested the hill, the child’s confession confusing me more than ever as we peered down at the riverbank. “An optimist?”

“Pretty brave to hand the Death Maiden a weapon.” “Last time I checked, you were a weapon without needing the blade.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, Deyanira. I’m going to choose you.” He turned back to look at me, a swell of emotion in his eyes I’d never seen before. “And I think I need to find a way to process that. I should choose the good of the world. I should be their hero. But I think when it comes down to it, I’d rather be yours, because you have no one.”

“You okay? Any trouble from the king?” “Oh, yes. I forgot to mention I was kidnapped and beaten and barely made it out with my virginity intact.” I walked to the door. “Virgin, huh?” He smirked. “Your sarcasm knows no bounds, Maiden.”

We were perfect enemies. We fought so beautifully. And in scattered moments, I preferred that anger, the fury he gifted to distract from every other problem in this world. Because I knew what to do with anger. I knew how to coax it, how to stroke it. But I had no idea what to do with the rest of this.

“I’m beginning to think there are no sides of you that wouldn’t absolutely destroy me.”

Unrolling the parchment, I couldn’t help the warmth that spread through me, the heart-wrenching sweetness at her depiction of the group, me included. Orin and I stood together in her painting, and she’d been so meticulous about including the small dagger on my thigh. Everyone was there. Hollis, with either a sword or a massive needle, it was hard to tell, though the needle made more sense. Althea, with a big heart drawn onto her chest and a smile on her pretty face, Paesha, drawn in feathers as if she were dancing, and she’d drawn herself holding Boo’s paw while Elowen held a birthday cake.

He shifted close, pinning me against the wall. “Do you always blush when you lie, Nightmare?”

Hell, I don’t think I’m supposed to want you, but here we are, and I can’t help the way my heart fucking aches for you.”

I wondered if I would ever look at him without hoping he would touch me.

You are the stars and the storm, Wife. Somehow, you’re both peace and destruction. Nightmare and a daydream. You’re hell and home. Fear and solace. Slumber and panic. Kindness and rage. Light is easy to love, but I’ve seen your darkness, and I want that, too. I crave it. I want to fucking drown it in. But how does any man live up to that? Deserve that?”

Why haven’t you kissed him yet?” “Is that why you dragged me in here?” “No, but gods, if I have to sit at one more dinner with the two of you eye fucking, I’m moving out.

Oh! Good gods, you’ve put it on sideways. Do you not see the clasps? Who taught you to dress?”

“If ever you question your strength, remember the kindness inside of you has its own power. Your morals and restraint are your true power, Little Dove.”

“Are you flirting or fighting with me right now, Deyanira?” “Neither. I’m simply standing here, willing to face your demons rather than back away and leave you alone with them. I know them as intimately as you do. There’s madness within the darkness you’re hiding, isn’t there?” “Yes,” he said quietly. Fiercely. “And I think it’s you, the way you consume me. You are the darkness.” I shook my head, smiling. “No, Husband. I am the abyss that calls to your shadows, the tempest that matches your storm. We are not mere darkness, we are the symphony of our scars.”

“End your deal with the Maestro. Find something else to offer him. Give him the fucking world, Deyanira. But do not give him yourself. You had no right to make that bargain. You already belong to me.”

“You’re late,” Hollis said, snapping his pocket watch closed. “We’ve been doing this for months, old man. When have I ever been on time?”

“You know what I think you need?” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Hard liquor and a good fist fight?” “Fun, Deyanira. I was going to say fun.” “Same thing, Old Man.”

“Threatening the loss of a body part is a term of endearment.”

Do I look like some kind of godsdamned fool?” “I’m going to assume that’s a rhetorical question.”

“Does it feel good? To show them you’re my weakness, Wife?”

“This marriage is only getting started, Wife. I won’t see it end before I have a chance with you.”

“How did you get out?” he asked as I stepped into the apartment. “There are these fun things called windows. They’re used for fresh air, sunlight, and prison escapes.”

“Sometimes I think you mouth off just to see if I’ll punish you.”

I can’t promise you’re not going to want to bury that blade into my gut a time or two before this is all over. But I can promise I will still chase you. There will never be a part of me that doesn’t crave you. Even in madness, you’re my only desire. In rage and fury. In weakness and wonder. You may question whether I am sane, but I am wholly yours. For a thousand lifetimes. Eternity is not going to be long enough.”

“If we’re going for revenge, Nightmare, we’re going to need three shovels. One for my uncle and one for each of us because in the end, it will consume you, and then saving you will consume me. It’s a never-ending cycle of pain and suffering, and it rarely leads to true satisfaction. He wants you to come back to him. He’s likely already got a plan in place. Staying away from him is the worst thing you could do when he wants you so badly.” “The worst thing I could do to him is force him into eternal damnation with me so every moment of his afterlife is ruined by all the ways I can find to torture him.” I didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed. The way they shone, even with darkness seeping from me in waves. Leaning closer, he brushed his lips over mine, his shoulders full of tension easing as if he couldn’t help himself. As if the mere contact brought him solace. “Then I will find the shovels, and we will dig the graves.”

“Both of the villains in this world want you. And it’s made me believe that maybe there are three.” “Icharius and Drexel… who is the third?” “Me. Because should any harm come to you, Deyanira, I will become the thing of nightmares. I will bring this world to wreckage. It’s the only thing I can give you. My only promise.”

I’m absolutely, irrevocably, and undeniably certain that when I take you, we will be lost to each other for the rest of time.”

With each footstep, I remembered his words in my mind. His promises to choose me when I thought he hated me. The way he kissed me. The way his eyes burned for me. Whatever his secret, whatever he thought he was protecting me from, I could still feel myself falling deeply, maddeningly in love with him. Poor bastard.

You’ve been my match and my balm.

I think I’d learned what love was in those stolen days. Somewhere in the laughter of an old man and the kindness of a worried mother. The reach of a child and the embrace of two fearless women. And though I hated to admit it, I learned more about love with Orin than anywhere else. I’d let myself be vulnerable with him. Full of anger one moment and heaps of passion the next. I’d learned that love, no matter the depth, would always leave a mark on your soul. Even if you walked away from it, that wound would never heal. Love was finding yourself lost in the world and realizing that, in the arms of your family, you had discovered the most profound and enduring sanctuary, where your heart could always find its way back home.

“I thought we could start this day with a game. Do you see these wretches?” I studied my nails rather than give away the rapid beat of my heart. “No. I’ve gone blind overnight.”

Because not only had he come, he’d shattered the world to get to me.