Destroy Me (Shatter Me, #1.5)

by Tahereh Mafi

“I am perfectly capable of keeping my eyes open. Only an idiot would rely on the energy of a bean or a leaf to stay awake throughout the day.”

What a beautiful disaster.

I watched her count. To 4,572. It took five hours.

But watching her talk to someone else made me crazy. I was jealous. Ridiculous. I wanted her to know me; I wanted her to talk to me. And I felt it then: this strange, inexplicable sense that she might be the only person in the world I could really care about.

And suddenly this small, battered notebook means more to me than anything I’ve ever owned.

It’s a strange thing, to never know peace. To know that no matter where you go, there is no sanctuary. That the threat of pain is always a whisper away.

I grieve nothing. I take everything.

I’ve come to believe that the most dangerous man in the world is the one who feels no remorse. The one who never apologizes and therefore seeks no forgiveness. Because in the end it is our emotions that make us weak, not our actions.

I almost forget that she still hates me, despite how hard I’ve fallen for her. And I’ve fallen. So hard.

Love is a heartless bastard. I’m driving myself insane.

I need nothing but letters to live. Without them I would not exist.