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There is not a single cynical thought to deny the fact that she may be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. She’s intimidatingly peaceful—a contradiction in itself. And I almost want to despise her for it. Because I fear there is a chance that I may begin to enjoy her.
But I don’t miss the bob of her throat, the brush of her fingers. Which are incredibly cold. She smells of honey, of happiness incarnate. And it’s entirely too distracting.
That’s when my feet leave the ground. I gasp, possibly squeal, when he lifts me onto the counter with ease.
I happen to look up in time, witnessing the beautiful accident that has happened. I’ve made him smile.
She breathes my name and I’m surprised by the effect it has on me from a person so pretty.
She is an intoxicating sort of exhausting, like running until you’ve lost your breath but enjoying the feeling all the while. And I feel as though I’ve been sprinting for days.
She falls into me, wrapping thin arms around my bare waist before pressing a tear-stained face into my skin.
I’m really much more of a lover than a fighter.”
I step aside, offering the room to her. “Because it looks like you’ll be sleeping here until further notice.”
“Take the bed.”
Even in the midst of crying, she manages to glow, as though each tear were a drop of sunlight.
“Where are you going?” The door swings open. “To find them.”
This feels like the type of intimacy I’ve only ever dreamed of; the type you fall asleep fantasizing about.
“I’m afraid I don’t know much about you. Apart from your measurements—which I now have memorized, by the way.”
“And how exactly do I look?” “Sweet. Unassuming. Pretty enough to get away with wearing that horribly blue shirt.”
Because now there is her and every moment after. I had never known happiness before her. But if there is to be an after in which she doesn’t exist, I know I never will again.
“But you… you’re the embodiment of everything I am not. And yet, here I am, crawling back to you as though I’ve left a piece of myself behind.”
“I regret not buying that blue shirt from you, if only so I had your attention long enough to convince you that red suits you better. I regret not telling you how much I like it when you blow those bangs out of your eyes, or the way you clap after finishing a row of stitches. I regret smothering every smile you made me want to give you. And I regret not telling you the truth. But most of all, not saying goodbye.”
“Come see me. Please. I don’t think I can handle losing both of you.”
And part of me hopes to see my best friend beside him with a genuine smile on her face.
allowing myself something that I haven’t had any desire to do before meeting her. And terrifyingly, it comes easily. I smile.

